


Back In High School

by jecroisenLarry



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Basically, How Do I Tag, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Muke Clemmings, and luke needing cuddles, how is my first fic on ao3 muke/5sos, i don't know how long this will be bc i never know where my writing will take me, i'm planning on including more recent aspects of the boy's journey, idek, just me getting my high school!muke and we-used-to-hate-each-other!muke feels out, lots of feelings, so are the 1D boys, the larry is minor, this is mainly Muke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:50:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jecroisenLarry/pseuds/jecroisenLarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke wonders where this irrational hatred between him and Michael started, and Michael finds Luke's videos on Youtube. That's how it starts.<br/>The story of how 5 Seconds Of Summer came to be... And how two boys found love along the way.</p><p>(or self-indulgent high school au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't really know how this started, or how the first fic I've ever had the guts to post on the Internet is a Muke one. 5sos have taken over my life?! Anyway, since I'm a bit insecure about this whole thing, feedback would be greatttttt! Thanks to my boo bear (Bertille) for reading bits of this as it comes to be, and for listening to me whine about Muke all day. I love you a lot.

Year 10

Luke didn't hate high school. He didn't love it, either - who did? -, but he did appreciate some aspects of it. For example, he loved his music class. He loved meeting people, too, even if he was kind of shy. He didn't speak much in the group of friends he hung out with. They weren't a small group, weren't really big either - 7 or 8, depending on the day. They had fun together, laughed and talked about school, girls, TV shows, they went to each other's houses to play video games after school sometimes, but they weren't _close_. They never talked about feelings, never talked about deeper things (although Luke would have liked to), and, most importantly, they never showed any affection towards each other. Luke, sometimes, felt the irrational urge to just- to just reach out for Dan or Paul, and to hug them, or just to grab their arm. Sometimes he felt like resting his head on Scott's shoulder, or even like sitting on Hunter's lap and cuddling there, like he did with his mom when he was at home, but he knew he couldn't. The thing was, Luke had always been an extremely touchy person. He craved and needed physical affection like air - and it had always been the case. At home, he got it all the time. His mum, his dad, even his brothers - they all understood that Luke needed the physical contact and reassurance, so he always had an arm wrapped around him and a shoulder to tuck his face into when they were watching movies. At home, it seemed natural, but at school... He knew people wouldn't understand, some might even get the wrong idea. It had happened before, girls thinking Luke was trying to make a move on them when he really just wanted to _cuddle_. And with the guys he hung out with? That would end terribly. They would think he was gay and try to defend their heterosexual virtue, and then he'd be left truly alone. So Luke refrained. He controlled himself and resisted his urges to _touch_ , and he went through the days and the weeks with these people by his side that he could have a laugh with, even if he couldn't tell them much about himself (and even though he sometimes found himself wishing for more). So Luke didn't hate high school. He didn't love it, but surviving it wasn't that hard either.

There was one thing that Luke hated though. Or, rather, one person. That person was Michael Clifford. Luke couldn't even remember how it had started, but all he knew was that Dan and Hunter despised him. They always used every occasion possible to criticize him or make fun of him in public. And Michael did the same. He targeted the whole group, actually. And that included Luke. Luke had never personally hated Michael, or been given any reason to, but then Michael had started treating him like shit (and even more than the other guys!) so he'd started to hate him irrationally. It even became a thing for him and his friends, to list all the reasons why they hated Michael Clifford. He was a ridiculous punk that, just because he was a year older than them, thought he knew everything. He constantly found a reason to look down on them, he was a bad student who kept skipping classes and getting called out by teachers and even - on more than one occasion - the principal. And Luke would never admit it, but he was also kind of jealous. Michael was this cool older student, and he was friends with people like Calum Hood, who Luke had always thought to be extremely cool. Plus, Michael was kind of really attractive, and Luke was jealous of that as well. But he kept that type of admiration to himself and pretended it didn't hurt him at least a little bit whenever Michael took extra time to embarrass him in public or to be mean to him. So he retaliated by being mean to Michael as well, and that's how it went. Each time there was such a confrontation, he saw Calum stand behind Michael, looking conflicted. He had also noticed Calum shooting him wistful looks whenever he crossed him in the hallway, and their gazes sometimes met for a few seconds. Luke didn't know what these looks meant, and, anyway, he didn't let himself hope: he knew Calum was way too cool to ever want to be friends with him.

***

Michael hated high school. With a passion. He'd rather be anywhere else than there, stuck in a prison - namely playing music somewhere or just playing videogames. He knew it was an extremely bad idea, and that he'd end up without a job or a future, but he planned on leaving high school the second he turned 17. He also knew that his mother would be incredibly disappointed, but he just couldn't stand it. There was nothing he hated more. Sure, he had a few friends that made going to school easier and, especially, Calum, who was his best and closest friend overall. He knew he could tell him anything he wanted, and that Calum would never ever judge him, and give him the best advice he could. But even though that did make school less horrible, it still wasn't enough to compensate.

And there were too many people he hated, like all those stupid kids who thought being "popular" was the sole goal in life, or even this ridiculous group of friends with Dan Robinson as their leader, who thought they were the shit and kept insulting him. There was Luke Hemmings, as well. At first, the blond kid had been almost invisible, always at the back of the group, shy, eyes downcast. But at some point, Michael had heard him criticize him. And who the hell did he think he was? Michael didn't know how it had escalated to this, to them being mortal enemies over literally _nothing_ , but he hated the kid. Hated him for being so cute and good-looking at his age, when Michael hated his face and body that hadn't lost its baby fat. Hated him for being so loved by anyone who paid attention to him - the teachers, who loved that he was quiet and still tried to participate, the girls, who whispered about how adorable he was (although Luke didn't seem to notice), even _Calum_ who had once said "hey, he looks pretty cool, why don't we hang out with him?", before noticing the glare on Michael's face (he never brought it up again, but Michael saw him _looking_ ). Hated him for always being surrounded by so many friends, while Michael only really could consider Calum as a friend. Michael hated him. He knew those weren't reasons to hate someone, so he thought of all the times Luke had joined his friends in insulting Michael, and he felt it was enough. He had to admit he had a problem though. He was always looking for Luke in the hallways, trying to find an occasion to be mean to him. He wanted to get a reaction out of him, to get the kid to talk to him. (Calum, jokingly, had told him once: "Do you realize you act like a schoolboy with a crush when it comes to Hemmings?". Michael hadn't laughed.). He knew it had gotten out of hand, he just seemed to be looking for Luke everywhere, and it wasn't normal. Michael had been trying to ignore for months that he might like guys as well as girls, and the Luke situation didn't help. But he was deep in denial, so he just reacted by being aggressive to him.

***

One day, as he was scrolling through his facebook newsfeed, he stumbled upon a comment that a girl he was friends with on facebook had posted on Luke's wall:

**OMG Luke, you are so incredible!! Emma showed me your videos today, I can't stop watching them!! You're sooo talented!**

To which Luke had answered with a simple and shy "thank you so much, glad you appreciated it!”. Michael could just about imagine him while he had typed it: nose scrunched up adorably, cheeks reddened by joy and biting his lip while a timid smile appeared on his face. He felt like punching something. He couldn't help but wonder what it was all about, though.  
It turned out he didn't have to wait long, because the very next morning, Calum jumped on his back while yelling repeatedly in his ear "Mike Mike Mike Mike I need to show you something!"  
"Okay okay, goddamn it, just calm down!"  
Calum jumped off his back and shoved his phone in Michael's face.  
"Ok, before you say anything, I know you hate Hemmings, but I also know you love music and I thought that maybe this could help your ridiculous and uncalled for hatred for him."  
Before Michael could even reply, Calum pressed play on a video, and Luke appeared. He had a guitar in his hands and looked as annoyingly adorable as he always did. After awkwardly introducing himself, he started strumming the chords, and Michael assessed the way he held the guitar in his hand and the way he played it. It was clear he knew what he was doing. Then, he started singing. His voice was beautiful and he used runs and other tricks that made him sound great. Another reason to hate the boy... He was just perfect at everything. Michael watched the entire video in silence, entranced by what he was seeing.  
"So?" Calum asked him, hope showing in his voice.  
"I want to start a band with him." Michael only realized that he had said that after he had actually said it.  
Calum's whole face lit up.

***

"Ok, so since you're so incredibly socially inept, I'll go talk to him. You might scare him away."  
Michael scoffed.  
"No way, I want to do this myself. I'm not freaking socially handicapped or anything, I can handle this." He ended with a sense of finality. Calum raised an eyebrow, but otherwise kept silent. He knew not to argue with Michael when he was in one of his determined moods. At that moment, Luke and his friends appeared in the hallway. Or, well, it wasn't exactly his usual group of friends. More like a horde of giggling girls that surrounded him. Luke was there, in the middle, face reddened by happiness and looking timid and just- Michael felt himself lose it. He marched determinedly to the group, and completely ignored the girls. He stood right in front of Luke, looked him right in the eye, and asked him "Can I talk to you for a second, Luke?"  
Luke seemed startled, but he followed him, and Michael angrily watched as two or three girls tried to follow, even going as far as grabbing his arm. "Alone." He added. They looked affronted, but as Luke gave them an apologetic smile, they broke into giggles again and let them leave. Once they were a safe distance away, Luke looking a mixture of curiousity and apprehension, Michael took a deep breath and looked him in the eye a second time.

"I think we should start a band."


	2. Chapter 2

"I think we should start a band".

The words seemed absurd in Luke's mind, and he kept staring at Michael in stunned silence. Michael Clifford had come to see _him_ , to tell him he thought they should start a band?! Surely he hadn't heard well. (Only he knew he had). They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds more, before Michael turned away and left from where he'd come. Luke kept staring into nothing until the girls came back.  
  
He joined his friends for lunch, and Will teased him about all the girls who had been complimenting him since the week before, when a friend of his had shared one of his videos on facebook. He laughed and joked with them, but, in all honesty, his mind was more set on Michael and his proposition of a few hours before than on his sudden popularity with the ladies. As they were still laughing and talking about the girls, someone cleared their throat. Luke looked up to be met with the sight of Calum Hood standing in front of him. The other boys tensed up, probably thinking that Calum, as a friend of Michael's, was there to somehow insult them or embarrass them, even though he had never done anything of the sort in the past. Luke himself didn't have any time to dwell on it, as Calum immediately started speaking.  
"Hey, so Mike told me he spoke to you. I just wanted to apologize on his behalf, I don't know what he told you, but from the creepy stares I witnessed and my knowledge of his usual incapacity to be socially acceptable, I assume it wasn't pretty. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm not as weird and creepy as he is, I guess? So yeah, this is me trying to befriend you."  
There was an awkward pause, before Luke just smiled at him and answered:  
"Oh uh he wasn't _that_ creepy. I mean, I'm the one who just- stood there without answering. So."  
Calum looked a little taken aback, but Luke just kept going.  
"Not that I- don't want to, or anything. I'd love to! I mean, I've heard that he's amazing. I just- thought he might be kidding for a second. I didn't exactly understand why he would want to do anything with me - who he hates -, and especially not start a band."  
Luke's friends were just staring at him, incredulous. Luke could imagine why; hearing that their mortal enemy, who had always been even worse to Luke, actually, had asked him if he wanted to start a band together probably wasn't on their list of most expected events of the year. Calum, on the other hand, nodded agreeably.   
"Yes, I know it might seem surprising to you... To be honest, I've never understood why Mikey treated you that way. I've always seen you as someone cool that I'd like to make friends with."  
Luke's mouth all but fell open. _Calum Hood_ thought he was cool? And he had wanted to be friends with Luke for a while? The blond scrambled for words, not wanting to let his chance of making friends with Calum go to a waste.  
"Oh um, I always thought the same about you! No but seriously, I always saw you as such a cool guy and as someone who I'd want to be friends with. So... I'm glad you approached me about it."  
They smiled at each other. Feeling bold, Luke spoke up:  
"Would you like to meet up after lunch? I have free period next!"  
He didn't want to admit that he knew Calum and Michael had free period too after stalking them one too many times, but he knew it was probably implied in his question.  
"Oh yeah, me too! Well, perfect then. I'll meet you by the entrance?"  
Luke nodded and waved slightly back at Calum, who retreated to his own table. The boys were all looking at him with raised eyebrows.  
"Fraternizing with the enemy?" Hunter asked.  
"Oh, stop it, Hunter. Calum is not 'the enemy', in fact, there is no 'enemy'. I think it's great that Lukey here is making friends outside of our group." Will replied. He was the smartest and nicest of them all, and had always been Luke's favorite. Sometimes he thought that, had their companions and the circumstances been different, they could have been real friends. Could have talked about their deepest feelings and opened up to each other, maybe even hugged good morning instead of going for the bro handshake that they all shared. But he shook his head and came back to reality, knowing that delving on the "what ifs" of life wouldn't get him anywhere. He smiled at Will, who smiled back at him, and Luke saw something in his eyes that made him think that maybe, he wasn't the only one having such considerations.

***

  
Luke nervously made his way through the rest of the meal. When the bell rung, he hastily stood up to take his tray back to the place where they were put away. As soon as he had put it down, he waved goodbye to the boys and walked to the entrance. Calum was already there, a friendly smile etched on his face.  
"Hey! Good lunch?"  
"Yeah, yeah, it was ok. Well, as ok as it can be in this cafeteria."  
Calum let out a short laugh. Luke felt accomplished.  
"How about you?"  
"Oh, well, same as you, really. What class do you have next?"  
With that, Calum opened the way to a conversation on teachers, which led to one about school in general and their favorite subjects. That's how the theme of music was put on the table, and the two boys discovered that they shared quite a few interests in music. They pretty much liked the same bands (Nickleback, Blink 182, Nirvana...) and soon entered a very enthusiastic conversation. When the bell signaling the end of the period went off, they both looked a mixture of surprise and disappointment. The hour had gone by in what felt like the blink of an eye. They smiled at each other and with a "We should do this again soon" from Calum, they were both parting and heading to their next class. Luke felt giddy the whole rest of the day. This new friendship was so exciting to him, he couldn't even believe he wasn't dreaming. He had _never_ talked to someone about music for that long, never expressed his interests with so much depth to anyone. It had been absolutely great, and he hoped Calum had meant what he'd said about them doing this again soon. Whatever "this" was.  
  
He wasn't disappointed. The very next day, a smiling Calum skipped to him during morning break, asking if he wanted to spend his free period with him again. Luke eagerly nodded, and Calum left with a thumbs up. Luke waited impatiently for his free period to arrive. He didn't know why Michael hadn't showed up the day before, since he knew for a fact that Calum and Michael always spent that period together, but he hoped he would be there today. He really, really wanted to get to know him, to get Michael to like him.   
When free period rolled by, Calum and him sat down at the same place they had gone the day before. It was a nice, secluded place in-between two corridors, with relatively comfortable seats and a large window that opened a beautiful view of the trees in front of them.  
"Um- I was just wondering, where's Michael? I know you two are usually attached at the hip, and I supposed he would have come to hang out with us?" He really hoped he didn't come off as too desperate, or that the answer wasn't that Michael still hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.  
"Oh, well Michael has a really important group work to get done this week for his history class, so he doesn't really have a choice: any free moment he disposes of has to be spent at the library with the people he's been assigned to work with. He's really grumpy about it, especially since he can't stand one of the girls he's working with."  
With that, Luke was pretty much satisfied: at least Michael didn't hate him. But he did feel a little disappointed to hear that he wouldn't be seeing Michael for at least the rest of the week.  
Calum then started on the subject of music, and they were once again lost in a conversation where one of them would exclaim "Me too!!" every two minutes. They really did have a lot in common, and not only in music, as they soon discovered. Luke felt a strong connection to Calum, one he lacked with his other friends. It was only the second time they hung out and already he'd told Calum more about himself than he'd ever told the guys.  
He went home all happy that night, and retold the events and half of the conversation to his parents and brothers with such adorable excitement that they all had to hug him, saying that they were really happy that he was making such an amazing friend. Luke went to sleep with a smile on his face.  
The next day went pretty much exactly like the previous one: Luke excitedly waiting for his free period to come around, an incredible hour spent in the company of Calum, and coming home with his head full of anecdotes to share with his family. They fell into an easy routine, and Thursday and Friday saw the boys get more comfortable around each other, letting more stupid things slip out of their mouths without controlling it, more intimate confessions be shared. They still weren't _confidents_ per se, but Luke did share a lot with Calum, things he'd never thought he'd be able to share with people who weren't family. The boys kept teasing Luke, good naturedly, about his "bromance with Hood" as they put it. Will looked at him with an almost proud expression, and Luke felt grateful. As for his youtube covers, he kept getting more positive feedback, some guys even coming to tell him he was really good in addition to the group of girls who seemed to have developed a crush on him. He wasn't used to having that much attention, but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying it.

***

On Friday, at the end of their hour together, Luke asked Calum for his number. They spent the entire week-end texting, and each new text made Luke giddy. It felt like he finally had a _real_ , actual friend, who he could text about stupid things if he wanted to. He knew they weren't even that close, that, after just a week, there was potential for more, and he couldn't wait to find out what it'd be like. He'd never had a real friend, he realized. What would it be like? Would they be able to speak about _anything_ , really anything? Would they be physically affectionate? Would they hang out at each other's houses? Luke only hoped that Michael would accept him, and that, when he came back in the picture, it wouldn't change anything between Calum and him. He knew they were best friends, and he really hoped Michael wouldn't get jealous or possessive or just angry that Calum was hanging out with Luke, and stop Calum from spending time with him. Plus, he couldn't deny that he strongly wanted to get to know Michael. The boy was just so fascinating to Luke! He was a mystery that Luke wanted to solve, and someone that Luke had always desperately wanted to please, for some reason. That want to please was back in full force now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No but seriously is this good?! I have no idea what I'm doing. Thanks for reading though :)
> 
> Again, you can come say hi on tumblr if you want to cry about Muke together of just talk about 5sos or 1D or Larry or Dylan O'Brien or just anything, I'm not very picky. (je-crois-en-larry)


	3. Chapter 3

Michael sighed. He knew he was now done with his assignment, so that was that. But he also knew that the amount of time he had dedicated to watching Luke Hemmings' videos during the whole week-end was verging on unhealthy. He had started with only wanting to re-watch the one Calum had showed him so he could hear it with a better sound quality, but he had ended up watching all the videos that were on the channel. More than 5 times each. He definitely hadn't slept enough. Calum had sent him a text on Monday, saying that he had spent some time with Luke to get to know him, and that he was a really cool and nice guy. He had even used the word "cute". Calum kept teasing him about his attitude towards Luke, saying he had a "crush", and Michael hadn't even told him yet about how he might like boys as well as girls. He didn't know how Calum would react. It was one thing to joke about it, but another thing altogether to know your friend was bi. It's with these thoughts in mind that Michael arrived at school. As he went to the place where he and Calum always met in the mornings, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Calum jump on an unsuspecting Luke.  
"Heyyyy Lukeeeeee!" Luke turned around, a bright smile lighting up his face.   
"Cal!"  
"I know you have to go join Dan and the boys, but I just wanted to tell you in person that I absolutely LOVED that band you texted me about yesterday!"  
"Oh, you did?" Luke looked pleased and he was _blushing_ , God.  
"I really did! I even downloaded their album and I keep listening to it!"  
Now Luke looked so pleased it was blinding.  
"I'm so glad you liked it!! We can discuss it later then?"  
"Oh yeah, I'd love to! I'll text you about it this afternoon, I need to speak with Michael, since his group work is done."  
"Okay, well just text me then." He smiled brightly at Calum again.  
"Yes, also I need to tell you the rest of the story about that guy from my class!"  
"Oooh yeah, you do!"  
"I will" he winked, _winked_ , and Luke laughed delightedly before leaving.  
Michael stayed still for a few seconds, shell shocked. Calum had told him they had hung out on _Monday_ , not the whole freaking week! He hadn't told him either that they were on nickname basis and that they texted frequently. He felt jealousy pooling in his gut, and it probably wasn't even just jealousy towards Luke. He was pretty sure it was irrational, considering how he had treated Luke for years, but he had wanted to be the first one to befriend him. Seeing Calum already so close to him wasn't something he had been expecting, or wanting. It was selfish and stupid, he knew it, but he couldn't help it.  
He walked to Calum determinedly. His friend turned around and smiled when he spotted him. Calum went for a hug but Michael didn't respond to it, something that never happened. Calum pulled away, eyebrows furrowed.  
"What is it, Mike?"  
"What is it?! Well, you tell me what it is. You hadn't told me you and _Hemmings_ were bffs."  
"What? We're not- I told you I had hung out with him on Monday."  
"Yes, on _Monday_!"  
Calum looked vaguely guilty.  
"Yes, well, we hung out during the rest of the week too. I didn't think about telling you."  
"Why, because you were too caught up in _Lucas Hemmings_ of all people to even spare a thought for your best friend?"  
"Michael, are you... Are you _jealous_?" He couldn't contain his laughter. Michael, extremely vexed, walked away. Calum ran after him, laughing and trying to apologize.  
  
 **Meet me at our spot at the usual time :) Mike will be there with us. I think he's a little jealous though, so don't let his grumpy attitude get to you!**  
  
Luke reread the text a few times. Michael was jealous? That was one of the things Luke had been fearing. He hoped he would manage to get Michael to like him.

 

***

 

Luke made his way to what Calum had, to his delight, called "their spot". There, Calum was sat in front of an upset Michael. He looked so intimidating, Luke didn't know how he was going to get through the hour. But he remembered what his Mum and Aunts had always told him: with his "cute dimples and adorable smile", he could charm anybody. He really hoped it was true.  
At first, Calum and Luke started talking, Luke being more shy and reserved than he would usually be, and Michael didn't say a word. After fifteen minutes of Michael ignoring them in favor of his phone, Luke started letting go and being more himself. Michael wasn't listening to what they were saying anyway. At some point, though, Michael lifted his head and answered something Luke had asked Calum. It happened a second time, and Calum just shut up. Soon, Michael and Luke were deep in conversation. It started with TV shows before continuing with music. They both discovered they shared at least as many interests as Calum and Luke did. Luke was getting really excited. Michael was actually fascinating, the way he spoke, his dry humor and sarcasm - that for once wasn't aimed at him. Luke couldn't stop to think about poor Calum who was now the one being excluded: talking with Michael was just that captivating. He was the kind of person who knows exactly what they want, and for someone like Luke, who looked for approval before saying anything, it was fascinating. They were discussing their favorite male singers, when Michael looked him straight in the eye and said "you are amazing yourself, you know." Luke felt himself blush to the very roots of his hair.  
"Oh, thank you. I really don't think I'm that good, but I'm practicing so I can improve."  
Michael stared at him a second too long, with a look that seemed to say "How are you even real?". Luke felt warmth spread through his limbs. When the bell rung and it was time to leave, Michael almost looked reluctant, and Luke smiled, telling them he'd see them the next day if they didn't cross paths in the corridors during the afternoon.   
  
***  
Michael stared after Luke. He had wanted to be mad, to teach Calum a lesson, but the blond boy was irresistible, _Goddamn it_. At first he had been all shy and blushing, and it had taken all of Michael's strength not to pinch his cheek and coo. Then, he had started to act with more confidence, and Michael hadn't been able to hold himself back. He knew Calum had voluntarily stepped back from the conversation so Michael could talk to Luke and maybe stop being so angry. It had worked.  ***  
  
As Luke was heading to his last class of the day, he passed Michael in the hallway. The boy looked at him and smiled, and Luke knew he was blushing. He couldn't believe that the hot, mysterious - and generally rude to mostly everyone - Michael Clifford somehow seemed to _appreciate_ him. He hoped it would last. He really did want to make friends with him, and to keep Calum's friendship, see where it could go. He received a text from the Kiwi during his last class of the day.  
  
 **Seems like you won him over!! That's pretty incredible, Michael doesn't like _anyone_. Although I have to say I never doubted for a second you'd manage to get him to like you, you're just too adorable and an exact mixture of Mike's weaknesses ;)**  
  
Luke stared at the message, as if that would help him understand it. First of all, he felt extremely content at the "you won him over" and "get him to like you" parts. So it wasn't just a wrong assumption, Michael really had seemed to like him. Then, Calum calling him "adorable" threatened to turn him into a tomato for the umpteenth time of the day (Luke had always had a thing for being praised. He needed to be acknowledged, physically and verbally). What he really didn't get was the part about him being the "exact mixture of Mike's weaknesses". What the hell did that mean? And why a winky face?! He resolved to ask Calum in person whenever he got the occasion.  
  
***  
The next day, Luke almost jumped out of bed in excitement, he couldn't wait to see the boys again. He was a bit nervous, though. What if Michael didn't like him anymore? He was particularly attentive at what clothes he put on that morning.  
He didn't pass either of the boys in the hallways during the morning, so he decided to text Calum.  
  
 **Hey Cal, same time same place right? :)  
  
Yeah, of course! See you there ;)  
**  
Luke felt giddy all morning and throughout the meal, which the guys found particularly funny and made fun of him for.  
"You going to meet up with some girl or what?"  
"No, just his new boyfriend Calum!"  
"Actually, I saw him smiling to Clifford in the hallway yesterday!"  
" _Clifford_?! You can do better than that, Luke!"  
Luke just ignored them, smiling gratefully at Will when he defended him.  
When free period rolled around, he was in such a haste to get to the boys that he arrived before Calum and Michael did. He sat and played on his phone while he waited. They arrived a short while later.  
"Heyyyy Luke!" Calum said, smiling. Michael kept silent, but his face was open, and he was smiling as well (even if the smile was tiny).  
They sat down like the day before, Calum next to him and Michael in front of him.  
"So, how have you been?"  
Luke answered easily, not stopped, for once, by any timidity. Michael asked him questions and participated actively to the conversation.  
"Hey, Luke, what would you think of coming to my house and playing some music this week-end?" He asked.  
Luke couldn't answer fast enough.  
"Oh, yeah, of course, that'd be great!"  
Michael smiled at him, actually _smiled_ , a real, wide smile. Luke felt honored. And being invited to Michael's house meant a lot. They hadn't spoken more than twice, and the total must have been under two hours of conversation, and yet Michael was inviting him to his house. Luke knew that the boy was a great guitarist - at least that's what everyone said. He couldn't wait to find out. With him and Michael playing the guitar and Calum playing bass, they could make really cool arrangements of their favorite songs. Luke sent Calum a text during his next class:  
  
 **This is so cool, can't wait to play with you two this week-end!! :D**  
  
I think he meant only you and him, Luke!  
  
Luke stared at the screen in disbelief. Only him and Michael? Surely Calum had got it wrong!  
But clearly he hadn't, because the very next day, during the hour they spent together, Michael started making plans for them, and they didn't include Calum. Luke didn't dare ask, worried that he might upset Calum if he did so. Anyway, the blond boy couldn't deny that he was really excited at the prospect of spending time alone with Michael. They exchanged phone numbers and decided that Luke would bring his guitar, even though Michael owned more than one, to see what arrangements they could do. Luke felt a bit rude for talking about all their plans in front of Calum, who wasn't invited, but the older boy didn't seem to care. On the contrary, he seemed to be happy to see that Michael and Luke were getting along. ***  
  
Luke made it through the rest of the week, the excitement of meeting with his two new friends never fading. He was still tentative around Michael, afraid that he would say something wrong and that the older boy would suddenly decide he didn't like him anymore, but with Calum everything was going well. On Friday, the brunette even hugged him good morning. It was a short hug, but it still warmed Luke's heart. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Luke goes to Michael's house and I kind of got lost in the description of FEELINGS.

On Saturday, Luke woke up earlier than he usually would, making sure he had enough time to get ready for Michael. He chose his clothes carefully, tried to do something cool with his hair - he'd always been jealous of Michael's perfect fringe - and even sprayed some cologne on. He didn't really know where this craving to please Michael came from, but he couldn't help it. He followed the instructions he had been given and arrived at the older boy's house right on time. Michael opened the door wearing a Ramones t-shirt and black skinny jeans. He looked really good. Luke suddenly felt self-conscious.  
"Heyyyy Luke, how are you?"  
"Um, good and you?"  
Michael smiled and nodded before letting him in the house.   
"Um, so... It's not much, and my parents aren't around but- this is my house."  
He looked _embarrassed_ , and Luke felt like wrapping him in a hug.  
"Oh but it's nice! I like it!" He smiled and, when he looked up, Michael was softly smiling back.  
They went to Michael's room, and it was so _him_ that Luke couldn't refrain from looking at every detail, fascinated. The posters on the walls, the bed sheets, the clothes, everything was such a good representation of who Michael Clifford was. The boy cleared his throat, and Luke felt his face flaming up.   
"Uh yeah, sorry, I just really like your room!"  
"You do?"  
This time it was Michael who looked shy, and that wasn't a common occurrence.  
"Yeah, I really do Mikey." Luke heard himself answer in a soft voice. He immediately started freaking out internally. What if Michael thought Luke was taking it too far with the nickname?  
"Thanks Lukey." He answered, a genuine smile gracing his lips, and Luke felt warmth course through his veins, as if he was intoxicated. Intoxicated by Michael.   
  
***  
They decided to start playing. Luke was feeling very nervous: it was one thing to know that Michael had watched his videos, but another entirely to actually sing for him. Any nervousness he felt was replaced by sheer awe as he watched Michael start to play. He'd always known he was great guitarist, people talked about it all the time after school representations, but nothing had prepared him for the caring, soft way he treated the instrument, hands swiftly caressing the wood in practiced ease; the precision of his fingers on the chords, the assurance in the rhythm and the notes. He clearly spent hours cooped up in his room, just playing and losing himself in the music. It was visible by the easy and familiar way Michael held the guitar in his arms, the way it rested on his lap like it belonged there. Luke didn't know why, but musical people had always been so interesting to him. In his eyes, someone who played an instrument or sung immediately gained a hundred points in interest, coolness and attractiveness. And, right there, in Mike's cozy room that represented him so well, with him playing in the middle of his bed, head bent and curtain of long eyelashes sweeping over his cheeks as he let go of himself for the music, Luke felt the sudden and overwhelming urge to be held by him, to crawl on his lap and to take the spot of his guitar. To be the one that Michael's hands caressed, the one that Michael's warm arms encased in a protective grip, to be the one Michael looked down upon with such abandon. He knew it was ridiculous, but sometimes Luke got lost in his timid silences, and he _saw_ people and felt irrational urges or cravings such as this one. He also knew that it wouldn't happen, that these feelings and emotions, these _needs_ , as strong as they were, were never going to be acted upon, or become a reality. Luke had resolved himself to being a person who wanted too much, and to never having his urges fulfilled. Sometimes he felt like he wasn't normal, like no one was like him. He had never talked about it with anyone.   
Michael looked up at him and his expression focused on Luke; it was like he was coming back from far away. It was beautiful. His eyes and the hard set of his jaw from being so focused softened, and he looked at Luke with a sweetness that Luke had never expected from him.  
"You alright there, Lukey?" And there it was again. The nickname. No one called him that, other than his parents and brothers. Not his friends, not even his grandparents. Just the four closest people in his life. And having someone else - someone new - say it was... Exhilarating. It felt like growing up. Like someone was choosing him and liking him because they wanted to, because of what he had been on his own, not because they had to, because he was their son or brother, or because of who he was as a part of a family. It felt like being an individual, like being recognized and appreciated for who he was. That simple word meant so much to Luke, at that very moment, that he feared Michael would think he was crazy. He hadn't answered yet, and he was being overwhelmed by his emotions. Michael leaned forward, and repeated the question, this time adding a different inflexion. It was concern and not playfulness. "You alright?"  
"Yeah, sorry. I just- it's just that no one ever calls me that."  
"Calls you what?" Understanding spread on Michael's feature before Luke could answer. "Oh, 'Lukey'?"  
"Yeah." There was a slight pause before Luke spoke again. "Well, no, that's not true. My parents and brothers call me that. But not my friends or anyone else." He didn't know where he was going with that, why he was even telling Michael.  
"So... You- don't like it?" Michael asked, clearly wondering what the point was too.  
"Oh- no, no!" Luke quickly backtracked. He certainly didn't want Michael to stop calling him that. It felt really good when he did.  
"Please don't, I really like it when you do." Michael smiled hesitantly and nodded. Luke thought he was done, but his mouth seemed to think otherwise.  
"It's just I'm realizing that I've never been really close to anyone who isn't family. I'm sorry if I'm acting- awkward or weird or not how you're supposed to. I just haven't been over at people's houses much, not since I was a kid. Or at least not outside of a big group. Like one on one, I'm not used to being expected to carry a conversation. I'm not-" he sighed, not knowing what to say. He felt like he was going off on a rant. Michael looked at him right in the eye and said "I understand.". Just two words, but with such genuine inflexion and such meaning! It was the best answer Luke could have received. They looked at each other for a few seconds, silent, and then Luke picked up his guitar and started singing.   
  
And that was that. They played all afternoon, and almost didn't speak. They just played and sung, and Luke felt like he was in perfect harmony with Michael. It was an amazing feeling, and he didn't think he'd ever get enough of it. When his Mom texted him to tell him he should come home because some relatives were at their home and wanted to see him, he reluctantly stood up and bid his goodbye to the other boy. Michael looked up at him from where he was hunched up over his guitar, and there it was again, that beautiful look on the boy's face, like he was just arriving from another place. In those moments, he was so soft, not the usual hard, almost mean Michael Clifford who used sarcasm to defend himself from the world outside. Luke felt privileged for being able to witness it. He wondered if anyone had noticed. Or was he the only one who noticed such things about people? Michael saw him to the door and with a hand on Luke's shoulder and a "That was nice. We'll do it again soon.", he was gone. Luke stared at the closed door in front of him and smiled.  
  
***  
As he was entering his room, Luke's phone beeped with the alert of a new message.  
  
 **I mean it. We really should do this again soon :)  
**  
Luke's heart skipped a beat as he read Michael's name on the screen, and then the message. So it wasn't just politeness, Michael really did want to play with him again. And the smiley face! Who knew Michael _Clifford_ used them? It kind of broke the entire rebel persona, but Luke liked it. Especially when it was directed at him. He didn't worry about seeming too eager and immediately typed back a response.  
  
 **We do! You're an amazing guitarist :)  
**  
The answer was just as immediate from Michael:  
  
 **So are you! And an amazing singer too, even better in real life :)**  
  
Luke felt himself blush, but fortunately, he was alone in his room. No one to witness his extremely 12 year old schoolgirl-y attitude.  
  
 **Thank you Mikey :D  
**  
He hoped that would be an appropriate response and decided to text Calum to let him know how everything had gone with Michael before going downstairs to join his Uncle, Aunt and cousins.  
  
 **Heyyy Cal, just wanted to let you know that I just came back from Michael's. It was really nice, we played and stuff and he was really cool about it! He told me he wanted to do it again when I left and another time via text just a few minutes ago :)  
  
** Half an hour later, Calum's reply came.  
  
 **Hey Luke, sorry, I was taking a shower! Wow that's great, I'm really glad you two had fun and got along :D**  
 **And consider yourself lucky, Michael isn't usually the type to reiterate a proposition, he must really want to play with you if he even texted you about it!**  
  
Luke smiled wider than usual all afternoon and evening. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also English isn't my mother tongue (I'm French), so don't hesitate to tell me if you see a grammatical or language mistake :) Thanks for readingggg


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here's the next chapter :) hope you enjoy it, thanks for the kudos and comments!!  
> Also, sorry for the shameless self-promo, but I have a soundcloud where I post covers. Would you mind listening to this one?   
> https://soundcloud.com/magda-monteagudo/without-you-cover-by-magda  
> Thanks to anyone who does, I love you forever <3

When Monday rolled around and it was time to go back to school, Luke jumped out of bed, excitedly running down the stairs to eat breakfast. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that _it had happened_ , he had actually gone to Michael's house and played with him and texted him. He knew the boys would never understand his newfound friendship with Michael, but he really didn't care.

He was walking down the hallway with Dan and the whole clique when Calum ran up to him.  
"Lukeeee how are you?!"   
"I'm good, you?" He answered, a wide smile already stretching his lips. Calum's response was interrupted by a smiling Michael as he joined them.  
"Lukey, how are you feeling this fine morning?"  
Luke's heart missed a beat at that. God, he was pathetic.  
"I'm fine, what about you Mikey?" He relished in the fact that he could use that nickname now.  
"I'll be better after I get a hug" he stated before diving in on Calum and hugging him tight. Calum laughed and instantaneously returned the hug. Luke had seen them do it, knew that it was common for them, but it still surprised him that two guys would be so openly affectionate with one another, especially considering the relationship he had with his own friends. And it seemed like those same friends were sharing the sentiment, as they all stood there staring at the exchange with wide eyes. Michael detached himself from Calum and looked at Luke.  
"Do I get a hug from you too, Lukey?"  
The blond teenager nearly launched himself at the older boy. He felt arms wrap around his waist as he placed his own around Michael's neck, and he relished in the feelings of another body close to him. Finally, he was getting a bit of affection. In all honesty, the only thing Luke wanted was to be _cuddled_. Soon, though, they had to separate, and it was to be met with the incredulous eyes of Dan, Will and the entire group.   
"Luke, are you actually friends with this stupid twat?" Dan spit out.  
"He's not- I can be friends with whomever I want, Daniel!" Luke answered, getting annoyed.  
"Not with this asshole! He's been insulting us- insulting _you_ for months and now you're suddenly friends?! It was okay when you were hanging out with Hood because he actually seems like a nice guy, but _Clifford_?!"  
"You can't stop me from befriending people, Dan!"  
"No. I can't. But I can tell you this: we don't want you to hang out with us anymore. If you're going to act like this absolute dick hasn't treated us like shit then we don't need you."  
Obviously, Dan was the leader of the group, and his word was practically law. Luke knew this. He watched as the boy turned away and walked the opposite direction, soon followed by the others, some looking more or less reluctant. The last one to leave was Will, and he looked at the blond boy with an undecipherable look in his eyes before actually turning away. Luke knew this was an important moment, and that he should have been feeling sad at the very least. But he only felt relief.  
  
***  
  
"Luke, are you sure you're alright?"  
It was at least the third time Calum had asked him that question, whilst Michael just looked deeply content, a smirk etched on his red lips.  
"Yes Cal, don't worry! I've never even been close to these guys! I mean, yeah, Will is a really nice guy that I would have liked to get to know better, but that's not possible when you're hanging out with _Dan Robinson_."  
Luke's only worry now was that Calum and Michael wouldn't want to hang out with him all the time, and that he'd be left alone. And he was also worried about his classes: who would he sit with now?  
"Oh yeah, ok, I get it. But now you've got us anyway!" Calum said with a wide smile.  
"Yeah, you don't need these assholes anymore. You can hang out with us" Michael added.  
Luke was so happy to hear that that he jumped on Calum and Michael in an awkward group hug.  
"Thank you so much guys!"  
They laughed and hugged him back, and he knew that he had finally found where he belonged.  
  
***  
  
It soon appeared that he didn't need to worry about being alone in his classes. The girls who had followed him for a week after the first post of his videos on Facebook were back in full-force now that they'd noticed that he was on his own. Some of them were annoying, but a few seemed genuinely interested in music and were nice to talk to. One in particular was really nice. Her name was Aleisha.  
She had come to Luke and told him that she, too, played the guitar and sang, and that she had loved his covers. They had talked about music in hushed voices until the teacher, annoyed, had asked them to stop chatting. She had smiled at Luke, telling him they could talk about it another time, during free period for example. Luke loved that his covers were enabling him to meet people who loved music, and to have such interesting conversations with them. The rest of his classes went smoothly, with always a girl to sit with and talk to. Dan kept shooting him resenting looks, though. But Luke realized that he couldn't care less.  
  
***  
  
That week-end, Calum invited Luke to come to his house along with Michael. They played video games and Luke discovered just how competitive Michael could get. He personally didn't spend much time on video games, so he wasn't that good. Michael beat him easily and laughed at his skills. But when they started playing Fifa, Luke ended up being better than Calum and a real competitor to Michael: it was the only game he usually played with his old friends or with his brothers, and he was _damn_ good at it. Michael seemed surprised and almost proud, and made it his goal to beat Luke. But the younger one wouldn't let Michael beat him that easily, and it ended in a tie. They would have kept going for hours until one of them won, but Calum was complaining that they weren't letting him play. As he watched the two boys fight over a controller, Luke felt a sense of rightness wash over him.  
  
***  
  
 **Hey Lukey :) so today was really fun!! But do you know what would be even more fun? You coming to my house tomorrow to play music again :)  
**  
Luke giddily answered Michael's text.  
  
 **Oh yeah of course!! What time? :)**  
  
They made plans and Luke ended with a "can't wait!!". He wondered if maybe that was taking it a little too far. But Michael answered with a "me neither!!" and everything was settled. ***  
  
On Sunday morning, he was awoken by his alarm clock. His mother seemed surprised to see him up that early.  
"Are you going to meet up with a girl sweetheart?" She teased. "You're all dressed up and you smell really good!"  
"Muuuuum stop it! I'm only going to Michael's house to play."  
"Again? Well, that's great Lukey. I'm glad to see that this friendship is working!"  
His brothers took turns in messing up his hair by taking him into a headlock and he whined.  
"Stooop! Do you know how long I spent on that?!"  
"Awww does Michael have a hot sister or something? Does Lukey have a crush?"   
Luke spluttered for words. How could he explain that it wasn't to please a girl he'd been all dressed up, but to please Michael himself? Even Luke didn't understand it anyway.  
  
***  
  
At least his efforts weren't useless, as Michael pulled him into a hug when he opened the door and immediately commented on his cologne. "You smell good Lukey!"  
Luke knew he was blushing.   
"Thanks Mike. You smell good too." And it was true, Luke had noticed a while back how good the older boy always smelled. That's why he'd started wearing more cologne than he usually did in the first place.  
"Thanks!" He smiled. "So, I was thinking, how about we try and play Check Yes Juliet, and add a few harmonies?"   
"Oh yeah, good idea. Maybe we could film it later on and upload it to my Youtube channel... If you want?"  
"Really? That'd be great!! I didn't think you'd want me on your channel!"  
"Of course I do!! The more the merrier right? Plus, if we want to start a band, we'd better start putting ourselves out there."   
Michael smiled at him.  
"Yeah, you're right. Perfect then"  
They stared at each other for a few more seconds with huge smiles gracing their features before going upstairs to Michael's room.   
  
***  
  
They played for three hours, completely lost in the music, until Luke's stomach grumbled. Michael laughed.  
"My mom should be downstairs, she was doing grocery shopping when you arrived."  
They climbed down the stairs, and Luke felt a bit nervous: what if Michael's mom didn't like him?  
"Oh, hey sweetheart." She said looking at Michael. Her gaze then transferred to Luke. "And you must be Luke." She smiled at him and her smile was so identical to her son's that Luke immediately felt more at ease.  
"Yes, that's me Mrs. Clifford." He said, shaking her hand.  
"Awww, he really is adorable" she cooed.   
Luke blushed (again).  
"I assume you boys are hungry? I didn't want to interrupt you while you were playing, but the food should be ready soon."  
They set the table and sat down to eat. Luke admired the way Michael became so incredibly soft with his mother. It was almost like seeing another person entirely. It made Luke want to cuddle him even more. The thing was, Michael looked so incredibly cuddly, and Luke just wanted to lean against his chest and play with his soft fringe. And now, cuddling him didn't seem so far-fetched.  
And it really wasn't, because as soon as they were back in Michael's room and done with playing - at least for a while -, Michael put on a movie on his laptop and softly ushered Luke closer.  
"C'mere, Lukey"  
He did, and ended up pressed against Michael, an arm around his shoulder, and his face full of Michael's soft, perfect-smelling sweater. Halfway through the movie, Michael started playing with his hair, and Luke could as well have been in paradise.   
  
***  
  
After that, each time Luke met up with Calum and Michael, he always had someone to cuddle with. The boys soon caught up on Luke's need to be constantly hugged.  
"You like cuddles, Lukey, don't you?" Michael had teased once.  
Luke had blushed and tried to disentangle himself from where he was clinging onto the older boy like an octopus.  
"No, no, stay here" Michael had immediately said whilst grabbing his waist to pull him in.  
Calum had joined the cuddle pile.  
"I'm the same anyway" he had said, tucking his face in Luke's neck.  
"Please tell me you never cuddled Dan Robinson like this" Michael had intervened, his voice dripping with something that Luke couldn't identify.  
The younger boy had burst into laughter. " _Dan_? Can you imagine _Dan_ cuddling anyone?"   
They had laughed and gone back to cuddling. And that was that.  
  
***  
  
They started uploading covers to Youtube and got quite a big following. Calum soon joined them, without ever being formally invited, and it looked like their band was starting to become a thing. An _actual_ thing. People were requesting songs for them to cover, and they had a few "fans". The concept seemed so foreign to them that they could hardly believe it. They also had a name now, 5 Seconds Of Summer.  
On the other hand, Luke was becoming pretty close to Aleisha. She had invited him to her house to sing and play, and she was really good. She was pretty and nice and a good singer, and Luke had started to develop a crush on her. The boys teased him about it a lot, and Calum kept telling him he had a serious chance, but he didn't know what to think. Eventually, he didn't have to dwell on it that much because she kissed him while they were at his house playing music. He kissed her back and they ended up kissing more than playing.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait for this chapter, I had a crazy schedule this week. We got the results for the "baccalauréat", which is the French exam that you have to pass at the end of high school to get into good universities (I passed it with a really high grade so I'm really happy, and finally free from work!!). Anyways, so this is the next chapter. I hope you like it?

"Mike Mike Mike Mike!!!"  
Michael smiled at Luke's excited voice. God knew what the younger boy wanted to tell him this time. Luke burst into Michael's room and threw himself at him on his bed, landing on Michael.  
"Ugh Luke, did you really have to do that?" He complained, but secretly he enjoyed the weight of Luke's body on his.  
"Sorry Mikey!" He pulled back so he could settle in-between Michael's legs. The older boy wrapped his arms around Luke's waist and pulled him in so his back was resting against his chest.  
"There you go. What did you want to tell me, Luke?"  
"Aleisha was over at mine today, and we were playing-" Michael almost sighed. He knew it was stupid but he liked to think of Luke as theirs, as _his_ , and now he kept spending time with that girl. He tightened his grip on Luke. At least right now he was in Michael's arms, not with her.  
"- and at some point she stops playing and looks at me and then she just leans in and _kisses me_! We spent the rest of the day kissing and oh my god Michael!"  
The older boy felt a wave of jealousy wash over him. She had kissed _his_ Lukey. She had kissed him and he had kissed her back, and now what? He'd be with her all the time. Michael couldn't stand the idea, and felt himself raise his defense mechanisms: anger and mean remarks. "Did you fuck her?"  
There was a moment of silence.  
"W-what?"  
"You know perfectly well what I just said, Luke. Did you fuck her?"  
Luke turned around in Michael's arms and looked at him with a confused look on his face.  
"Oh, that's right, you didn't. Because you're a _virgin_. You have no idea what it's like to have sex with someone. You're just a _kid_." He laughed, mean and uncontrolled.  
Luke's face was overcome with hurt.  
"Mikey, why are you-?"  
The nickname angered Michael even more.  
"Come on, _Lukey_ , stop living in a dream. Romanticism doesn't exist. It's all about sex, how can you be so naive?"  
Luke looked so hurt and confused at that moment, that Michael immediately regretted everything he had just said. But before he could do anything, Luke was leaving.  
  
***  
  
 **What did you do to Luke? Poor boy can't stop crying on me and he’s telling me you've been mean to him**  
  
Michael ignored the message.  
  
***  
  
For a few days, it went that way: Calum would travel back and forth between his two friends, trying to understand what had happened and trying to make it all better, without any success. Michael would broodily ignore everyone but Calum, and even with him, he wouldn't be his usual self. Luke would ignore Michael completely and spend all his free time with Aleisha or Calum, or with the both of them, since they got along very well. After a week of that status quo, Calum decided that he had had enough of it.  
"Okay, Michael. Now you're going to tell me what happened because I'm tired of this situation."  
Michael looked up at Calum, disdainfully, and didn't even grace him with an answer.  
"Michael, I swear to God. Stop acting like a fucking child!!"  
This time, Michael looked startled. Calum never got angry, and he certainly never swore.  
"Tell me what the matter is, goddamnit, so I can actually help! Do you think I like seeing my two best friends like that? I don't know what you did to him, but it looks like you fucked up big time. So tell me so I can help you make it better!"  
There was a pause before Michael spoke, voice guarded.  
"I- I don't even know why I did it, Cal. But I told him really mean things about him and Aleisha... It's just, I don't want him to spend all his time with her and to forget about m- about us."  
An undecipherable look overcame Calum's face. There was another pause.  
"Okay. Well, whatever it is that you told him, you obviously didn't mean it. Now, go apologize to him, he's really hurt and he misses you."  
Michael's heart warmed at the thought, and he decided he'd been stupid enough already. He'd go and apologize, and he would stop being such a dick to Aleisha. At least, he'd try to get to know her before.  
  
***  
  
Luke was walking out of school with Aleisha, hand in hand, when a timid Michael came to him.  
"Um- Luke, can I please talk to you?"  
The younger boy had been waiting for this moment, and he'd hoped that it would happen soon because he missed Michael way too much. He was extremely hurt by his attitude, but he didn't think he could imagine his life without the older boy in it, so he would have gone to Michael himself if he had had to. He looked at Aleisha who smiled gently at him, and left with a kiss on the cheek.  
"Michael."  
Michael waited until he was sure Aleisha was out of hearing range before looking Luke in the eye and speaking.  
"Luke, Lukey, I'm so sorry, I don't even know where that came from, I was an absolute asshole and I hate myself for it. I'm so sorry I hurt you, I promise I'll never do that again. I think I was just afraid you'd spend all your time with her now, and not with us and-" he drew in a breath "I know it's no excuse but, God, I just miss you so much"  
Luke threw his arms around Michael's neck and hugged him close. The older boy immediately melted into the embrace.  
"It's okay Mike, I forgive you. I missed you too, so much, please don't ever do that again."  
"I won't, I won't, I promise" Michael answered, still holding on tightly.  
"And that's stupid Michael, I'd always make time for you and Calum, you're my best friends!"  
He didn't know that these words comforted Michael as much as they hurt him.  
  
***  
  
After that, the three boys were inseparable again. Months went by in a blur of covers, school and music. The boys' Youtube channel was getting a lot of attention, and they even booked a gig. They were going to play for 200 people, and they were dying of nerves. One problem needed to be solved, though: they needed a drummer. Michael told Calum and Luke that he had met one at a party. His name was Ashton, he was older than them by one or two years and he was weirdly outgoing, but he would probably fit the part. Since he'd never seen him play, he asked the boys to come to his garage where he'd invited Ashton to come through Facebook, so they could assess his skills.   
  
***  
  
As far as first impressions went, Ashton didn't make a really good one on the boys.  
They were all waiting by the door, and when the bell rung, they immediately opened it to find a guy with an enormous smile and dimples on both of his cheeks.  
"Hiya, boys!" He gave a douchy two-fingered salute.  
"Uhh hi, Ashton." Michael started. Wanting to put him at ease, he asked "Would you like to play a bit of Fifa before we start?"  
"Oh, no, thanks, I don't really like Fifa" he answered with the same wide smile, as if he hadn't just uttered a complete blaspheme.  
Luke and Calum looked at each other with horrified expressions.  
"All-righttt then... Um let's get going I guess, in that case?"  
The drummer nodded, his dimples not disappearing once.  
He wasn't a bad drummer, at least. He was actually really good, so that was that. But he was a total weirdo. After he left, the three best friends gathered to discuss their thoughts.  
"What do you guys think, then? He's good, isn't he?" Michael asked.  
"Yeah, I guess he is. But I can't decide if he's socially inadequate of just a total douchebag." Luke answered.  
"Oh, come on, he's not that bad!" Calum interjected.  
"Well, he _is_ a bit weird." Michael said, "Good enough for the gig anyway"  
  
***  
  
As they went through several repetitions, it turned out Ashton wasn't actually that bad. He was weird, yes, but not anymore than any of them was. And he was open to cuddling, so that was already a good point if he wanted to play with 5 Seconds Of Summer. He was, in reality, a really funny and happy person who just happened to not have many limits - which could make him seem like a weird person. Once they were past the first surprise at his behavior, they actually got along pretty well with him.  
They played the gig, and it went so spectacularly well that, as they were backstage getting ready to go home, and Ashton was in the toilet, they decided to ask the drummer to join the band, officially. When he came back to get his bag, he saw the boys all staring at him. He laughed.  
"Lads, what is it?"  
Calum was the one who spoke up.  
"Ashton Irwin, would you like to join our band?"  
Ashton laughed delightedly.  
"So formal!" He let out another giggle. "Of course I'd love to, boys!"  
And that's how it all started, really.  
  
***  
  
Everything accelerated from that point. There were more covers, a solid friendship now linking the four boys, and one day Calum played them a song he had written. It was called "Gotta Get Out" and it was perfect, in the boys' opinion. That's when they realized that if Calum could write a song, maybe they could too.  
As for Luke and Aleisha, they were going strong as ever, and Luke was happier than he had ever been. Although he always went to Calum or Ashton when he wanted to talk about his relationship because he knew it was still a sensitive topic with Michael.   
  
***  
  
It wasn't that long after that Michael asked the boys to come to his house because he wanted to tell them something.  
"Okay guys. So, you know that party I went to the other day?"  
They all nodded, confused as to where this was going.  
"Well, I met someone there, and we had sex."  
The other boys looked expectantly at him, trying to understand the point - it was no secret that Michael hadn't been a virgin for a while.  
"Um- that someone... That someone was a boy."  
He looked up, an apprehensive look on his features. Luke felt something weird in his stomach at the news. A bit like how it had felt to become friends with Michael, a weird fascination and a craving for _more_. A bit like jealousy.  
"Mike, I think it's a surprise to no one here that you are bi. Because that's what you're trying to tell us, right? You didn't have sex with a teacher or something, did you?"Calum joked.

 

***

"What- Of course not! Are there even any hot teachers at our school?" Michael scoffed, but the relief on his face was visible. He paused for a second.  
"So you... Really don't mind?"  
Luke's emotions were swirling around his head, but the vulnerable look on Michael's face wasn't something he could ignore. He'd never, ever let Michael get hurt, especially by himself, if he had the chance to prevent it. So he pulled Michael into a warm hug and said "of course not, Mikey. There is absolutely no reason for us to mind. We love you" _I_ love you "just the way you are and there's no problem at all in loving both genders!"  
Michael relaxed into his embrace, and he didn't seem to want to move, so Luke rearranged them until they were both comfortable, Michael sitting between his legs and against his chest. They spent the rest of the afternoon like that, and, to Luke, it was joy and sorrow all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, tell me your thoughts?? It's really important to me to know what you think of the story, so don't hesitate to leave a comment :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter :) it's a little bit angsty, but not over the top. Hope you like it! :)

Luke was starting to question his weird relationship with Michael. He didn't know why he felt so freaking possessive when it came to him, or why he was so obsessive over him: since before they'd been friends, when they still insulted each other on a daily basis, he had always been looking for Michael, seeking him in the hallways and craving his attention. He had never questioned it, and - now more than ever, what with his relationship with Aleisha that was getting pretty serious - he still wasn't open to looking into it. That, in addition to his inability to talk about Aleisha with him, put a certain strain on their relationship. They were still able to discuss other things, of course, and they still were really open with each other on a physical level, but Luke felt like their relationship could be so much more, _should be_ so much more. To what extent, he didn't know.  
  
***  
  
Luke was at Aleisha's, and after a nice dinner with her family, who had practically adopted him, they were in her room, cuddling.  
He caressed the soft skin of her arm and kissed her neck. She turned her head and the kiss soon became much more heated.  
"Mmm- Ally, your parents are j-just downstairs" he said, shivering while she sucked kisses on his throat.  
"I know, but we can be quiet, can't we?" She said, raising an eyebrow teasingly.  
He kissed her deeply but pulled away right after.  
"I don't- I don't feel comfortable doing anything when your entire family is just below our feet in the living room." He stopped her. He knew normally he wouldn't have refused such an occasion - it had been a while since they had done anything more than kissing - but he had been feeling guilty for a while. He adored Aleisha, she was pretty and sweet and she had been his first time. It had been sweet and soft, just like the rest of their relationship, and he was glad it had been her. But lately, his mind had drifted off to other places whenever he was alone in his room, relying on his own hand to make himself feel good. It wasn't Aleisha's soft curves he thought about anymore, but the hard, sharp edges of a faceless, but much more masculine body. Deep in denial as he was, he tried not to delve too much on it when he came down. Maybe it was just a normal discovery phase, or maybe he was a bit bisexual, like Michael. He didn't want to think about sexuality and Michael in the same sentence, though, for some reason.  
  
***  
  
Luke was feeling increasingly guiltier about his feelings, or lack thereof. He couldn't say he loved Aleisha anymore. He had loved her, that was for sure, even if it had never been a powerful, passionate love, but he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He liked her and she was one of his favorite people in the world, but he couldn't think of having sex with her anymore, and even kissing her felt fake and unnatural. But, since he still absolutely adored and respected her, he was dreading the moment he'd have to man up and actually break up with her. He didn't want to see her crying because of him. What he hoped for was a clean break-up where she would tell him she, too, wasn't feeling the same about him anymore, and a real promise to stay friends. But he knew that it was unlikely to go that well. He decided to go talk to Ashton about it.  
  
"So, Lukey, why did you want me to come over?" Ashton asked, a bright smile illuminating his features as always.  
"I wanted to talk to you about something..."  
Sensing the worry in the younger boy's tone, the drummer immediately looked concerned.  
"What is it, Luke?"  
"It's just- God, I don't even know how to put it." He paused for a few seconds, Ashton waiting for him to find the words. "I don't think I love Ally anymore. I mean, I _know_ I don't. I still love her as a person, but as a friend, not as anything more. I haven't slept with her in ages, I keep coming up with excuses every time, and even kissing her doesn't come naturally anymore..."  
The older boy listened attentively, knowing there was more to be said.  
"I want to break-up with her because I know I'm not being fair to her. But I also can't gather the courage to do it because I don't want to hurt her, even though I know that not telling her is worse. So, I guess, I'd like to know if you can give me any advice on how to tell her, or how to man up in the first place?"  
Ashton stopped to think for a few seconds.  
"First of all, honesty is the most important thing, I think. Of course, but that goes unsaid, be there to hold her if she starts crying or something. The "it's not you, it's me" speech is cliché, but make sure she knows that you still think she's amazing, that you're telling her out of respect. Tell her you want to stay friends, but accept it if she needs time and space." He hummed "about manning up... I don't really know about that, think of how hurt she could be if you waited any longer. She probably already noticed you're acting out of the ordinary"  
"Yeah, you're right. I'll talk to her tomorrow." He hugged Ashton, who gently stroked his back. "Thank you for the awesome advice, Ash. I know I can always come to you and you'll help me. I can't believe we didn't like you at first."  
"What?!"  
"Oh, yeah, we didn't tell you!" Luke said in-between peals of laughter, "We didn't have the best first impression."   
As Ash started to protest, Luke exclaimed: "You didn't like Fifa!"  
Ashton scoffed "and that's a valid reason to not like me?!"  
"Well, you were also a bit weird", he laughed at Ashton's outraged response.  
  
***  
  
Aleisha came to Luke's house the very next day, even though he hadn't texted or called her yet. She walked decidedly into his room.  
"Okay, Luke, I want you to talk to me now. You've been practically silent whenever we were together for days. What's going on?"  
She was speaking in a strong, clear voice, but Luke knew her well, and he noticed the note of uncertainty and worry in her tone. God, he didn't know if he would be able to do this... But he knew he had to.  
"Ally... I wanted to talk to you. I was going to call you and ask you if I could go to your house"  
Now she looked even more worried. Fuck.  
"What is it, Luke? Did I do something?!"  
Her lip was shaking. Oh, God.  
"No, oh my god, you didn't do anything! I swear, Ally, you're amazing. It's just-"  
She looked at him and now there were tears in her eyes.  
"Why does this sound like- are you breaking up with me?"  
Luke put his head in his hands and tried not to freak out. The action seemed enough of an answer to Aleisha, though, since she started crying, tears running down her face and sobs shaking her body. Luke immediately shot up, wanting to hug her, but remembered what Ashton had said about accepting it if she needed space.  
"Can I- Do you want me to hug you?" Tears were gathering in his eyes by then.  
She threw herself in his arms and he held her as she quaked.   
"Can you at least explain? What- what happened, what did I do-"  
"You didn't do anything, I already told you, Ally, I promise! You're great and I love you so so much, but just- not that way anymore. I- I don't know why, I don't even know how... I've been feeling such confusing things lately, I'm completely lost and I-"  
"It's Michael, isn't it?" She interrupted him.  
He took a step back to look her in the eye.  
"W- What? What about Michael?"  
"You like him. You're _in love_ with him. You loved me but you were never in love with me like you are with Michael." She said, wiping her tears away. She looked like she was getting a hold of herself, the strength that usually shone in her eyes back.   
"What?! No, I don't... I'm not-"  
"Come on, Luke." She made a frustrated little noise, stifled a sob as new tears fell from her eyes, trapped by her eyelashes.  
"You're not allowed to do that. You're breaking up with me, and you need to be honest. With me and with yourself. I knew, from day one, that it would always be him over me. I hoped you'd fall in love with me and that maybe, I'd be enough for you. But I was never enough" new sobs shook her and Luke rushed forward, hugging her again.  
"Don't- do this to yourself, Ally, stop-"  
"No, let me finish!" She almost shouted, and she looked frenzied now, almost out of her mind. Luke shut up.  
"You don't even notice it yourself, but whenever he's in the room, your attention is entirely devoted to him, no matter who else is there. Your body is angled towards him, you always reach out to touch him, and you listen with undivided attention to _anything_ he might be saying. You're always just so... _Aware_ of him, it's like you have a special Michael sixth sense or something" she stopped to breathe and wipe her eyes once more "Even when he- look, I'll give you an example. The other day, you were facing me, your back to the door, and we were talking with Calum, and Michael arrived _without talking or making a single noise_ , but your body immediately angled itself towards him, and you turned around. It's as if even before your mind catches up to the fact that he is here, your body already reacts to his presence."  
Luke didn't know what to say. He stayed there, mouth slightly agape, trying to make sense of what he was being told. Aleisha seemed to take it as her cue to go on.  
"You were always so _fascinated_ by him. I remember very well the first week of us dating, when Michael wasn't talking to you. You were upset and sad and- and then he came to talk to you and I physically _felt_ the way you instinctively let go of my hand to turn your body completely toward him, and it was like- like this symbolic moment that showed me that he would _always_ come first. And then you were talking with him and hugging him like you had _never_ hugged me. And God, this sounds so pathetic, I feel like I'm reading the lines for a really bad TV show, but I swear to God I've known it since the beginning. I was just deep in denial, but there's only so much you can ignore."  
She took a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. Luke stood there, tear tracks on his cheeks as he heard how much he had hurt her, and as he realized something he had, too, always known, but, just like Aleisha, been in denial about. But it was impossible, it was _Michael_ , he couldn't...   
  
This time, it was Aleisha who held him as he cried. She rubbed his back and wiped his tears and kissed his cheek. They moved to the bed and comforted each other, soon unable to produce any more tears, but holding on to each other.  
  
***  
  
Luke had cried for hours, he had cried for her, cried for their relationship, cried for how stupid he had been, and now he didn't have any more tears to cry. He sat on his bed, staring blankly at his wall. The door cracked open, and his mother looked at him from behind it.  
"Lukey, can I come in?"  
He nodded, and she entered the room, going to sit on his bed next to him. She opened her arms to him, and he sunk in her motherly embrace.  
"Mum-" he stopped, not knowing what he wanted to say, or how he wanted to say. She waited patiently until he found his words.  
"I broke up with Ally. I didn't love her anymore, I mean, only as a friend. But she told me she had always- always known that it would happen one day because she says I'm in love with M-Michael." Luke waited for a reaction to his words but he received none. Liz only continued to stroke his back, encouraging him to speak.  
"I don't know what I feel, Mum! And Michael- he'd never like me that way and..." He stopped, unable to speak anymore. He was too tired of crying and trying to organize his thoughts.  
"Shh, baby, it's alright. You'll figure it all out soon. For now, I think you're just exhausted, and you need to sleep."  
As if on cue, he yawned. They both laughed, even if it was weak on Luke's part.  
"See? Go to sleep, sweetheart, it'll be easier tomorrow." She kissed his forehead and tucked him in.  
"Thank you, Mom..." He mumbled, already sinking in the first phases of his slumber.  
  
***  
  
He woke up at one in the afternoon on the following day. It was a Sunday, and he was supposed to have gone to band practice at 10. He fumbled blearily for his phone, and found it on his bedside table. Fifteen messages and six missed calls were awaiting him.  
  
Calum's first text read:  
  
 **Mate, wanna go to Ash's together? I can pick you up :)**  
  
The rest varied from simple "?"s to "are you ok??? You're not answering anyone and you were supposed to be here twenty mins ago!", "ok mate you're scaring me, what's going on?!", and the last one, sent an hour before, stated:   
  
 **I called your Mum, she told me you were sleeping & that you broke up with Ally... You okay??**  
  
Ashton's and Michael's were similar, but the text that really stood out to Luke was Aleisha's.  
It was quite long. Luke breathed in deep before reading it.  
  
 **Hey Luke, I wanted to make sure you were alright. I also wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I should never have talked to you like that, as if you were doing me wrong or something. You were a perfect boyfriend and I'm sad I couldn't be the one for you, but I want you to know you've been a respectful, caring person with values since the beginning. Yesterday, you were the same. I think that we wouldn't have worked anyway... I really like you as a person, though, and I'd love to stay friends, but I think I need time to get completely over you. Once I'm ready, I promise you we'll be the best kickass friends ever :)**  
  
Luke felt like crying again. She was _apologizing_ to him and treating him better than he'd ever deserved. He immediately answered her, making sure to tell her she had nothing to apologize for, that she had been the perfect girlfriend too and that he'd be waiting for her to text him or call him whenever she was ready to be friends with him.  
And then he admitted it to himself. _I am in love with Michael Clifford_.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Michael was feeling extremely guilty. As much as he felt bad for Luke, and worried about him since Liz had told him he'd cried a lot, he couldn't help but feel relieved, and almost happy that he and Aleisha had broken it off. He had noticed how Luke wasn't comfortable talking about her in front of Michael, and he knew there had been times where they were closer than that. Hopefully these days were back.  
  
***  
  
Luke spent the rest of his Sunday in his room, until Jack coaxed him out of it to play videogames with him and Ben. After a few games, Luke was smiling again. Jack noticed and pulled him into an affectionate hug.“It’s good to see you smiling again, little bro.”Ben turned to them and smiled.“It really is. And don’t worry, there’ll be lots of other girls. Especially now that you’re a rock star!” he joked. Luke just smiled back, not knowing how to explain to his brothers that it wasn’t a broken heart he had been crying over. 

*** 

Monday morning came around, and Luke was feeling incredibly nervous. It was absolutely ridiculous, but he was afraid that, now that he had admitted it to himself, his crush would be so obvious that Michael would notice. His nerves also had something to do with having to see Aleisha. He didn’t know how that would go.

As soon as he arrived, Calum and Michael were hugging him really tight, asking if he was okay. Luke let himself be hugged and took a step back.  
“Yes, I’m okay, don’t worry. I mean, _I_ was the one who broke it off. It was just hard to see her like that, and also to let go of our relationship… She was my first girlfriend, after all…” he said.  
“Yes, of course” Calum agreed, “But I’m sure she’ll be alright soon, and you’ll be great friends. And you’ll find another girl, now that we’re famous!”  
“Funny you should say that, my brother told me the same thing yesterday” Luke laughed.  
He turned to Michael, who had been a bit silent, just to find him looking at him with such _fondness_ in his eyes that Luke felt himself shiver. On impulse, he grabbed Michael’s face and kissed his cheek. He looked startled for exactly one second, before breaking into a grin and kissing the tip of the younger boy’s nose.  
As Luke left the two boys to go to his English Lit class, he noticed Dan’s group of friends looking at him. He thought about how much had changed at that moment. 

***

 And things continued to change. They gradually became more famous, until they started recording their first songs and live sessions. They released a first EP, Unplugged, which featured a few covers. And if they had thought they had been getting attention before, nothing compared to what happened when Louis Tomlinson tweeted their live acoustic video for Gotta Get Out. It was the 6th of November 2012.  
That single tweet brought them hundreds of views and followers in just a few hours.Their reaction had been absolutely embarrassing as they had found out about the tweet,  and it had joined the list of Things We Don’t Talk About, along with that time Ashton and Calum had been drunk off their asses and pretended to be a couple so the two annoying girls who were trying to get with them would leave.

At that point, they had left school and were dedicating their whole existence to music. They were meeting amazing people, and finally doing what they wanted to do. That also meant that they were spending even more time together, and Luke didn’t know how to hide his feelings. He hoped they weren’t too obvious. Sometimes, he realized he’d been staring at Michael for way too long, and he noticed Calum shooting him looks. Calum, as carefree as he could appear to be, was weirdly perceptive, and it scared Luke. If he had noticed, who knew if he wouldn’t talk to Michael about it? They were childhood friends after all.  
One day, Calum approached him about it. They were at Michael’s house on a writing session. Luke had gone to the kitchen to fetch some drinks and Calum had joined him.  
“Hey, Luke, can I talk to you for a second?”  
“Uh yeah, sure!”  
“Uh- look mate, I don’t know how to put it. But… I’ve noticed your- _thing_. With Michael.”  
God. Could he be any more awkward?  
“What thing?” was Luke’s immediate response. Obviously it was stupid, since Cal already knew, but he couldn’t help this last try to save his secret.  
Calum just sighed and raised an eyebrow. Luke’s resolve crumbled in about 0.5 seconds.  
“Ok, ok, alright. So you noticed. Shit, do you think he noticed too?!”  
“Hey, hey, calm down, Lukey” the brown-haired boy answered as he put his hands on Luke’ shoulder and looked him straight in the eye.  
“First of all, Michael is an oblivious fucker. Second, he thinks you are the ‘straightest of straight guys’ and I’m quoting him here.”  
“Why were you discussing my sexuality?!”  
“Uh, nothing, I don’t know, it just came out- I mean, came up” Calum said, flushing.  
Luke gave him a weird look.  
“No, but seriously, he has _no idea_. Believe me.”  
“Good” Luke answered, releasing his breath. “I don’t know what I would do if he found out. And, the band – God, what if the band ended because of me-“  
“no, no, Luke, don’t say stupid stuff like that. The band wouldn’t end even if he discovered it. You never know, he might like you back?”  
“Seriously, Calum?”  
“You never know, don’t give me that look! He might! And anyway, even if he didn’t _– which he might_ – the band wouldn’t end. Nothing would be ‘your fault’. Ok?”  
“… yeah, ok.”  
Calum smiled, self-satisfied. “Good.” He hugged him another time before going back to the living-room.  
As soon as they arrived, Michael pulled Luke on his lap. Calum looked at the younger boy and wiggled his eyebrows. Luke could have murdered him. 

*** 

They were touring with One Direction. _They were touring with One Direction_. It still hadn’t sunk in, yet it had already been a week and a half since the tour had started. They played in _America_ , for hundreds of screaming fans, who might not have come for them, but still sang their lyrics back to them.  
They had hung out with the boys before the tour a few times, and they had immediately hit it off. Michael and Harry especially had gotten pretty close, and Niall absolutely _adored_ them. It was really weird seeing someone laugh at Luke’s absolutely pathetic jokes, yet the Irish boy seemed to think they were hilarious, just like _every single other thing that came out of their mouths_. How he loved them so much, they didn’t know, but it was awesome.  
But they did feel like there was a barrier somewhere, something important that they weren't telling them and that stopped them from being really friends with the boys. They found out what it was on the second week. 

They were all hanging around the venue, trying to find something to occupy themselves with until the concert started. The 5sos boys were in a room, aimlessly playing instruments, when Michael spoke up.  
“Hey, guys, Niall just sent me a text, he wants to see us.”  
“Oh, where is he?” Ash asked.  
“He says to meet him at their dressing-room. He’ll be there in like 10 minutes.”  
They were just next to the dressing-room, but decided to head there already, even if that meant waiting for Niall for a bit. It’s not like they had anything to do where they were anyway.

They walked up to the room and opened the door, only to be met with the sight of Harry pressing Louis into the wall, making out heavily, with the shorter boy’s legs wrapped around the younger’s waist. They stopped dead in their tracks, mouths hanging open.  
Harry turned his head at the noise of footsteps, and Louis just stared at them, his face the picture of someone who had just been caught in the act.  
There was another awkward silence, before Harry deposited Louis on the floor and hurriedly _zipped up his pants_.

“oh my god”, said Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo yeah. Larry <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really love Harry and Louis' relationship.

There was another moment of silence before Louis broke it.  
"Um ok so I guess that the 'we're just close friends and I have a girlfriend' excuse won't work on you."  
There was a beat before the 5sos boys exploded into fits of laughter.  
"It sure won't, mate!" Ashton said, wiping tears from his eyes. Harry and Louis looked startled. Luke noticed.  
"What is it, guys? Why are you giving us this look?"  
"It's just-" Harry started, before pausing slightly. "We're not used to people reacting... _Well_ to this..." Luke noticed how his entire body gravitated toward Louis', how he was angled towards him, and it reminded him of what Aleisha had told him, all those months ago, about his behavior around Michael. Then, Harry lifted an arm and, without looking at each other, they both curled up around each other. They fit _perfectly_. Harry's long, lean lines completed Louis' shorter, curvier ones like they had been molded to one another. Luke watched with rapt fascination as their bodies responded to each other with such ease and - self-evidence. That was the word. Evidence. At this moment, as Luke looked at them, bodies intertwined, it was as if - as if he couldn't ever imagine them _not together_. They were an entity, two parts of the same thing, absolutely unimaginable separately.  And he realized, almost like an epiphany, that he had sensed it before even knowing. They were _one_ , it was "Niall", "Zayn", "Liam", but always "HarryandLouis". It hit him like a wall of bricks. This was - this was love, in its purest form. He hadn't thought it existed, this absolute certainty that two people could be _it_ for each other, that any other option would seem entirely ridiculous. But here it was, and as he watched them turn to each other in complete sync, their gazes sweeping like a caress over skin, eyes finally meeting in such powerful softness that it _hurt_ to watch... He wondered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of such a look.  He'd never, _never_ seen two people look at each other like that. Maybe he'd never paid attention, never been put right in front of a vortex of love like this, but he didn't think he'd ever seen his parents, or his friends, or even the people he'd seen at weddings, share that kind of emotion. This looked... Precious, rare, a one-in-a-million kind of thing. Something that one was lucky to even witness. Because Harry and Louis- they didn't only share it between themselves, it was so potent and overflowing that it splashed everyone in the room, it was like being blinded by the light of the sun at its zenith after days spent in complete darkness.No wonder the couple didn't interact much - Luke had always wondered why, whilst all the 1D boys kept hugging and play-fighting and _acting European_ , as Americans put it, Harry and Louis, who always arrived and left together, never talked or looked at each other. Now, he understood. It was so amazingly _obvious_. Obvious that they were in love, obvious that this wasn't something that would be ending anytime soon, obvious that it wasn't breakable. Obvious that it was extremely powerful. It was practically frightening, and Luke had to look away.   
  
***  
  
Michael watched, absolutely entranced, as Harry and Louis finally, _finally_ , looked each other in the eye. He had watched a few videos, had read more than a few tweets, and he knew what Larry Stylinson was about. He had immediately believed it. But, then, he had met the boys, and Harry and Louis' total lack of interactions had led him to the road of doubt. What if they really, _genuinely_ weren't together (or gay), and this whole story had actually torn their friendship apart? He kept watching them whenever they were around each other, to see how they looked at each other, talked to each other. But whenever they came in close proximity, Louis's body - usually vibrating with energy and mirth - stilled. He stopped moving, laced his hands together and kept his gaze firmly on the floor. As for Harry, he just - talked, told a story, always agonizingly slow. In appearance, his behavior didn't change. But if you paid attention (like Michael did), you'd notice he kept fumbling with his hands, moving his leg, trembling with what looked like the pent-up energy to focus on _not doing something_. Now, it became abundantly clear why. When they opened to each other, turned to each other, it was like watching too-bright fireworks, and Michael realized how cheesy and cliché that sounded, but there was no other way to put it. Not only the look on their faces, but also their whole bodies - if, in them, love had a color, it wouldn't be red, Michael thought. It would be gold. He could almost see them, the golden threads connecting them, gracefully moving them in a slow, synchronized dance. He didn't think he'd ever witnessed love in such a pure, perfect form.  
  
And, at that moment, he knew. He wanted Luke. He wanted Luke _so much_. He wanted Luke's eyes to caress his face like Louis' caressed Harry's, he wanted Luke's arms to encircle his body like Harry's encircled Louis, he wanted them to be golden together. He wanted to feel all of that with someone, the perfect synchronization, the gentle love and support oozing out towards him, and he wanted to feel it with _Luke_. He wanted to give him absolutely _everything_.  
It was all so powerful that it scared him half to death.   
  
***  
  
Niall had joined them, soon followed by the other boys, and Harry and Louis were telling them about how they had met. How, at sixteen, Harry had fallen in love with a sarcastic, fascinating eighteen-year-old who only turned soft and gentle when he was with him. The other boys gave their input, added anecdotes, talked about how what they shared was the "truest love they had ever seen", how, since the very first day, it had been an evidence. How the fact that the purest, most beautiful thing in the world had to be kept hidden as if it was a shameful secret hurt them deeply. While Harry and Louis seemed to have reached a type of silent, quiet acceptance, Liam, Zayn and Niall appeared to still be as revolted as they were the first day.  
"What they have-", said Liam, "it's the most beautiful thing I've ever been lucky enough to come close to, it's extremely important and I wish they would share it with the whole world. They spread so much happiness. Just seeing them together, it gives me hope in life. If two people can look at each other like that, kiss each other like that, _love_ each other like that, then life is definitely worth living. And everyone should know that."  
  
Luke _felt_ it, understood it completely, and it wasn't like understanding theoretical knowledge, it was more like - like _grasping_ , instinctively, a feeling or an emotion. It couldn't be shared, and you could only understand it if you felt it too. It left Luke feeling raw and vulnerable. It was like having some truth, some universal, metaphysical - way too big for Luke's tiny human existence - truth being revealed to him. It was too huge, and he felt too small. Once again, his weird perceptions of people and emotions, that he felt as if he was the only person to experience, took too much out of him, and he needed - _something_. A hug from his mom. Something that would make him feel small and irresponsible again, make him feel like he was taken care of and everything was easy, not like everything was big and scary and could crush him any minute. So he reached for Michael.  
  
***  
  
Michael felt Luke paw at him, and when he looked to him, he saw something in his eyes, something vulnerable. He understood at once that, once again, Luke, his emotional, sweet, tender Lukey, had been overcome by all his feelings and emotions. He immediately reached for him and pulled him against him. Luke buried his face in Michael's neck, as if to shield himself from the world, and Michael gently rocked him as he would a baby. His affection for the perfect boy in his arms threatened to overwhelm him completely, but he fought it, because Luke needed him to be the strong, non-emotional one. As Ashton, Calum and the 1D boys talked, Michael took care of Luke.  
  
***  
  
When the time for 5sos to go on stage rolled around, Luke was still feeling a little too raw and vulnerable, but nothing that wasn't manageable.  
That night, after the big reveal and long conversation that had taken place between the two bands, the foundations of a real, complete friendship were created. They nine boys went to the hotel's private bar, and everyone was provided with alcohol, even the youngest ones. Luke and Calum were the most drunk, but Niall and Michael weren't that far behind.  
Harry and Louis, feeling a pleasant buzz, soon ended up kissing and giggling away into each other's necks. Liam looked at them fondly, and Zayn's eyes shone with love. Niall was singing traditional Irish songs, and had somehow managed to coax Ashton into singing them with him - how Ashton knew all the lyrics, the others didn't know. Calum was laughing so hard at Ashton's attempts to dance that actual tears were rolling off his cheeks.  
  
Meanwhile, Luke and Michael were curled up on a sofa. Luke grabbed Michael's hand and started playing with his fingers.  
"I love your fingerrrrrrs, Mikey. And your haaaand" he slurred.  
Michael's heart was beating out of his chest. He laughed delightedly and caressed Luke's hair.  
"Ummm, like it when you do that", the blond boy moaned (and Michael _absolutely_ didn’t think about another setting where this sentence could be said).  
A comfortable silence took over. Luke relaxed completely against Michael and brought his hand to Michael's face. He started caressing his cheek.  
"Why-" he frowned, as if he was looking for a way to formulate his drunken thoughts. Michael was looking at him with such adoration and focus that he was sure if anyone saw him, they would immediately know about his feelings. But he was too intoxicated to stop staring, as he would normally do.  
"Why do I want to touch you so much?" Luke finally asked, frowning.  
Michael's heart missed a beat. He searched Luke's face, looking for a clue, somewhere, something that would tell him what Luke was thinking.  
But Michael wasn't exactly sober too, and that's why his reply was:  
"I want to touch you so much too. All the fucking time."Luke smiled, bright, and Michael felt accomplished. *** Harry was definitely happy. And not only because of the alcohol. He had always loved Ashton, Michael, Calum and Luke, but hadn’t felt like he could call them friends until they knew about him and Louis. After all, Louis was the most important thing in his life. They had discussed telling them, but, in the end, it had been for the better that the boys find out this way. And they had reacted so well! They had told them such amazing things, about how they were beautiful together, how their relationship was an incredible thing that shouldn’t have to be hidden. He was smiling like an idiot.“What is it, love?” Louis asked, smiling back at him affectionately. He was perfectly sober.“Nothing, I just – I’m so so happy that the boys know, and that they took it so well! They’re great and I love themmmm” He answered, kissing Louis before biting his chin and jaw.“Hey, you little vampire” Louis said, laughing “How about you stop biting me and we go talk with the others instead of staying on our own?”Harry bit Louis again, just to make a point, before agreeing.  
  
They watched, laughing and clapping with Calum, as Ashton and Niall delivered the performance of their life.“Where are Mike and Luke?” Harry asked at some point.Louis shrugged, then pointed to the sofas. “I think they’re over there.”“Let’s go hang out with them for a while” Harry said.As they got closer, they noticed the two boys were completely intertwined, and they watched as Luke caressed the other boy’s face with a look of wonder in his eyes. Michael was staring back at him with the same affection in his gaze. “… want to touch you so much too. All the fucking time.” They heard Michael say. They exchanged a look and backed away slowly so as not to disturb them, but Luke had already spotted them.“Haz!! Lou!! Come sit with us!!!”They shared a look, again, trying to assess the situation. After a second of silent debate, they went to sit with them. Luke immediately snuggled against Harry, who was the closest to him, without releasing Michael’s hand, which he had been holding. He was such an adorable drunk, and Louis almost cooed.They started talking, and Harry watched the way Michael stared at Luke as if he was the most important thing he’d ever seen, and he knew he’d do anything to get these two together.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about this. A picture of Zayn and Luke gave me feels.

 Two days later, as they boys were preparing for the show, Harry went to Luke.  
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” he asked, dimples and charm in display. And who could resist that?   
Luke followed him out of the room, and the other boys looked at them inquiringly: it was usually Michael that Harry would drag out of the room to talk to in private, since they were very close.  
“What is it, Haz?” Luke asked.  
“Um, well, you see… Lou and I couldn’t help but notice that you and Michael…”  
There was a slight pause.  
“Me and Michael?” Luke asked.  
“Well, you know. There’s- something there.”  
Luke looked panicked for all of two seconds before regaining control over his features.  
“What do you mean? There’s nothing between us.” (… _not that I wouldn’t like that_ , he thought)  
“Um, no, that’s not what I meant. But, you like him, right?”  
The panicked look was back on the blonde’s face.  
“… is it that obvious?” he finally asked, after a long silence.  
“Uh. Kinda.” At Luke’s horrified face, Harry hurriedly added: “I mean! To us, obvious _to us_. Because we’ve been there! You know, with the whole… X factor thing?”

There was another very awkward pause.   
“But it isn’t the same, because Michael doesn’t like me back.”  
“Uh, mate, pretty sure he does” Harry laughed.  
“What? Are you- are you serious?” The younger boy asked, startled.“Yeah, of course! He just- looks at you in a special way.”  
“… He does?” Luke asked, timidly.  
“Yes, he really does! And you don’t know how much he talks about you! Whenever we’re having a conversation, he always finds a way to bring up your name. He’ll be like ‘oh yeah, that game, Luke said it was great!’, ‘oh, Luke is a great cook too!’, ‘just like Luke!’, ‘luke told me that one time…’”  
“Really?”  
“Yes, he thinks the world of you. You should hear him when he talks about your guitar and vocal abilities.”  
“But- that doesn’t mean… He admires Cal and Ash too, and I’m sure he talks about them a lot too…”  
“Yes, but it’s not… Not _the same_.” Harry tried to explain, getting frustrated when he couldn’t manage to find the right words. “God, Lou should have been the one to do this, I can’t explain it correctly.” 

“No, Haz, it’s alright, thanks for telling me. It’s really nice of you to come talk to me about this. It’s just that I don’t want to- build up my hopes, you know? I mean, you could be wrong, and if I started to believe that maybe Mike returns my feelings and then he didn’t… It would be horrible. For the band, for my friendship with Michael, for my well-being…”  
“I know what you mean, Lukey, and I understand where you’re coming from. But just- pay more attention to the way Mike treats you, alright? And like, look at the way he acts when you’re with other people, and how he acts jealous and stuff”  
“Jealous?”  
“Yes, I don’t think you realize how jealous he gets when it comes to you! Whether it’s when you’re with girls or just with one of us… He doesn’t like it when your attention is elsewhere.”  
“Elsewhere?” Luke questioned.  
“Not on him.” Harry answered with a sense of finality, and gave Luke a quick hug before returning to the others, leaving a confused Luke behind.

 *** 

The fact that Luke got really close to Zayn just after that conversation was pure coincidence. The overload of completely unnecessary and pretty extreme PDA that ensued, however, was not.  
Whenever Michael was in the room, Luke would make sure to sit on Zayn’s lap, caress his face and hair, tell him how gorgeous he was, giggle at his jokes and hug him as much as possible. Zayn didn’t seem to mind, in fact, he looked like he appreciated the displays of friendship, and of course it wasn’t a hardship for Luke either. This was _Zayn Malik_ , after all.  

*** 

Michael didn’t understand what was up with Zayn and Luke. They were _constantly_ showing off their brand new bromance, and it was _insufferable_. It was like they were trying to compete with Harry and Louis to see which pair could touch each other more. It was absolutely _unbearable_.  
Michael wasn’t one to be grumpy and sulk in a corner - cough cough -, but this was just getting the best of him. He knew it was ridiculous, that there was absolutely _no reason at all_ for him to get so angry over a cute friendship. He and Harry weren’t that far from them, after all, with the constant clothes-sharing and hickeys. And it wasn’t like Zayn and Luke would ever be a couple or anything, he knew that perfectly well. It was just… He wasn’t used to Luke’s attention being so completely focused on someone who wasn’t _him_.  

God, he was _fucked_.

 *** 

Louis noticed Michael had left to sulk on his own again. He didn’t know if Harry had something to do with Luke and Zayn’s new level of affection, but the result definitely wasn’t glorious. Leave it to his dumbass of a boyfriend to instill in the younger boy’s head the idea that _jealousy_ was a good way of putting two people together. Clearly it was just tearing them apart and making Michael miserable. 

“Mikey?”The young Australian lifted his head.  
“Yes?” He looked distraught.  
“Oh, Mikey.” He sat down next to the upset boy and pulled him into a hug.  
“Is this about Luke and Zayn?”  
“How- how did you know?” came the reply, tainted with surprise.  
Louis sighed.  
“Listen, Mike, Harry and I know about your feelings for Luke.”  
Michael scrambled away from Louis so as to look him in the eye.  
“Is it that obvious?” he asked, horror painted on his features.  
Louis refrained from smiling at the knowledge that Luke had asked Harry the exact same thing.  
“No, it isn’t, Mike, don’t worry? Haz and I just happen to be specialists when it comes to this.”  
Michael nodded, unsure, before returning to his previous position, head on Louis’ shoulder.  
“It’s just… I know nothing would ever happen between Zayn and Luke, but I also know nothing would ever happen between Luke and me… And if I can’t have his friendship, what can I have?”  
“What tells you nothing would ever happen between you two?”  
“Um... Well, first, the fact that _he doesn’t like boys_.”And Louis didn’t know what he could answer to that.

 ***

Once again, they were at the hotel bar, and, once again, alcohol was involved. Josh and Niall were ahead of everyone else by a few drinks, and Niall was extremely happy (that is, even more than usual).  
“LET’S PLAY A GAME BABYYYYY” he yelled.  
“Yeaaaaaah, let’s! What game?” Josh asked excitedly, because he was Josh and he was always in stride with everything Niall suggested, and vice-versa.  
“A drinking game!!” Niall exclaimed, as if that was a sufficient answer that would completely solve the question.  
And, apparently, to someone who was already more than tipsy, it was, because Josh just sat on the floor next to Niall.  
“EVERYONE, SIT DOWN, WE’RE PLAYING A DRINKING GAME” he shouted.They all sat in a circle, and Luke’s knee was pressed to his own, so Michael was happy – even though, on Luke’s other side, Zayn was sitting close.

They never defined which drinking game it was, and as everyone kept drinking and drinking, it lost any sense of rules. It started with questions and ended up in a weird version of Truth or Dare that apparently didn’t allow anyone to choose truth.   
Niall was still trying to recover his breath after daring Liam to give Calum a lap dance when a sudden glint of evil appeared in his eye.  
“Hey, Luke, since you and Zayn are basically married now, why wouldn’t you make out with him?”  
Everyone cheered, and Louis elbowed Harry hard in the ribs when he gave a cheer of his own, gesturing towards Michael, who had turned pale white.  
“But... It’s not even my turn!” Luke protested.  
“Who said anything about turns?!” Niall reasoned.  
Luke shrugged, remembering what Harry had told him, and glanced at Michael, who definitely looked a bit under the weather. Suddenly, he felt like blessing Niall.

“Come here, my Bradford Bad Boy!” he said dramatically, laughing at his own stupid sentence.  
Zayn laughed with him, crinkly-eyed, and turned to face him.  
Luke made sure Michael had a clear view before leaning in and aligning his lips to Zayn’s. Their mouths started to move together, and it was the first time Luke kissed a boy. “I certainly didn’t start low” Luke thought to himself in his drunk-hazed mind. To be perfectly honest, Zayn’s lips were as delicious as the knowledge that Michael was watching them, and Luke wanted more. He opened his mouth at the exact same moment Zayn opened his, and their tongues met. Luke moaned a little, and who knew he was one to get off on exhibitionism? He gripped Zayn’s face and guided him even closer, tasting him everywhere. Zayn’s warm hands were at his lower-back, keeping him in place, and Luke felt delirious.  
They kissed languorously for a while, before slowly parting. Luke blinked at the sight in front of him, Zayn’s long, dark eyelashes sweeping over his high cheekbones, his red, wet mouth, before the older boy leaned in to give him a small peck. They laughed as the others cheered, and Luke turned to look at Michael, only to be met with the sight of his retreating form, already close to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving for Spain tomorrow, and I won't have access to a computer. I'll only have internet on my phone, and I can't edit and post the chapters correctly on there, so I'll have to wait for when I come back (two weeks) to post anything...  
> I hate to have to make you wait so long for another chapter (I know I hate it when writers don't update for a long while) but I really don't have a choice :/  
> I'll have a lot to post when I come back though! xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkkkkk :)  
> Really sad to have left Spain and some amazing friends behind, but what can you do?  
> Anyway, here's the following chapter :) I'm not really satisfied with it, so tell me what you think..  
> I think there will only be another chapter and then the story will be finished.  
> Thanks to anyone who has left kudos, comments, and been supportive of this story, I love you <3

Luke was up and following Michael in less than a second. Niall protested immediately “Why is everyone leaving?! We were just starting to have fun!” but either Harry or Louis must have given him a significant look, because he radically stopped talking. Luke ran to the door and managed to squeeze through before it closed completely.

“Michael!”

The other boy stopped walking, before slowly turning around. Luke didn’t know what he had been expecting, but the ice cold, closed-off look he was met with wasn’t it.

“What do you want, Lucas?” He asked, sighing.

“Lucas, really?” Luke asked, a sharp and painful sensation wrapping around his heart. This was sobering him up way faster than anything else would have.

Michael sighed again, and seemed to make a decision. He turned towards Luke completely, and took a step forward, until they were at a normal talking distance.

“Sorry, Luke. You’re right. I have no right to take this out on you.”

“Take what out on me?” the blond boy asked timidly.

“Nothing, just… Tour has been wearing me out. I’m really tired, and I didn’t even drink tonight, so I’m not really in the mood to play a game.”

Luke couldn’t deny that he had been hoping Michael would say something else, maybe something about how he wanted to be the one to kiss Luke. But he knew it to be delusional; after all, he didn’t believe what Harry had told him. He wished it was real, but it was too far-fetched to be true, and these kinds of things just didn’t happen to him.

“Let’s hang out then.” He decided, because even if he couldn’t have the older boy the way he wanted to have him, he still wanted to be in his company as much as possible.

“Are you sure?” Michael asked, looking surprised. “You don’t want to go back there, and continue the game with them?”

“No, it’s okay. I’d rather stay with you and chill a bit, I’m not even tipsy anymore, and, given the level of alcohol Niall has absorbed tonight, I’m pretty sure the dares are just going to go downhill, and it won’t be funny at all if I’m sober.”

Michael nodded, before asking again “are you sure?”

“I swear I am, Mikey. Now let’s go to your room.”

***

They did, and after putting on some music and settling on the king-sized bed, they started talking. They talked about almost everything, about how incredible it was that they had gotten this far, about how lucky they were to have such great friends, about what they expected from the years to come… And, for as much as Luke had claimed to be sober, he wasn’t exactly, which could explain how he gathered the courage to ask Michael one particular question.

“Hey, Mikey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go ahead, Lukey.”

“How did you know that you were bi?”

Michael stared at him with a really weird look on his face.

“Are you- Is this because of Zayn?” he finally asked, voice and features completely emotionless.

“Absolutely not. It’s just- God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this… I’ve been questioning myself for a while now.”

“A  while?” the other boy inquired, eyebrow raised.

“Almost two years.”

This time, both of Michael’s eyebrows climbed high on his forehead.

“Almost two years?”

“Yes, um, it’s one of the reasons why Aleisha and I broke up. I don’t- I don’t think I’m gay, I still feel attracted to girls sometimes, it’s just that I… Kinda like boys more than girls… I think.”

Michael just stared at him in silence, mouth agape, for ten long seconds. Luke was staring to feel very uncomfortable when the other boy suddenly burst out laughing.

“What is it?” Luke asked cautiously. “Mikey, why are you laughing?”

Michael wiped his eyes, actually _wiped his eyes_ , before answering.

“Sorry, Lukey, it’s just… I would have never imagined the gayest of us all would be you, and not me.”

Luke smiled, because, admittedly, it was pretty funny.

“What if Calum turned out to be completely gay? Can you imagine Calum as the gay one?”

That was the last straw for Michal, who burst out laughing again, this time unable to even breathe properly. He tried to speak in-between his uncontrollable peals of laughter.

“But… I’m just imagining him-” he tried to breathe again “- wearing a glitter… god – a glitter vest… and pink boots and… and sh-shorts”

Luke joined him in his hysterical feat of laughter then.

***

When Ashton came back to the room he was sharing with Michael, he was met with the sight of his two bandmates asleep, clinging to each other on the bed, Michael’s arms wrapped around Luke’s frame protectively. He smiled and took a picture on his phone, sending it to Calum with the caption: **Looks like I’m rooming with you tonight**

Calum immediately forwarded it to Harry and Louis, who answered with a bunch of clapping and high five emojis.

***

Luke woke up to the feeling of soft breath against the curve of his neck, and warm arms wrapped around him. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. If only it was more than just two best friends having a sleep over.

He stayed completely still, just enjoying the feeling of the warmth of the boy he was in love with, for a few minutes, before he could sense Michael waking up. He disentangled himself from the other boy’s limbs, and smiled at him. The older boy returned the smile sleepily, and Luke was overwhelmed by a strong wave of love. He loved this boy so much it was ridiculous. That’s when he started wondering what he would do in the future. If loving Michael already hurt that much when he was single, what would it feel like, when he would, inevitably, get a girlfriend or, which would probably be even worse, a boyfriend? He didn’t think he would be able to take it when it happened. And what would _he_ do? Stay single for the rest of his life, pining on someone he could never have?  
Those depressing thoughts were starting to oppress him when Michael got closer to him and tucked himself close, burrowing his face in his neck.

“You’re warm… And you smell good.” He said, his words still slurred by sleep, before dropping a slight kiss to Luke’s neck. The blond boy shivered, and he felt Michael still under him. There was a second of absolute no movement, before Michael started kissing his neck again, but it was slower, more sensual. Then, he did it again, opening up his mouth a bit.

Luke wondered if he was dreaming. Was Michael _licking_ him? He definitely wasn’t dreaming, because it happened again. Michael stopped, as if assessing Luke’s reaction, and when he received nothing other than the tightening of Luke’s arms around his waist, he started sucking in earnest. Luke _moaned_.

***

Ten minutes later, they were going downstairs to have breakfast with the others, beet red and not looking at each other. Both had stupid smiles on their faces.

Everyone was there already, and the conversation stopped as soon as they appeared. Louis, Harry, Calum and Ashton looked especially expectant. Ashton’s gaze found the red mark on Luke’s neck first.

“Oh my God guys!!! There’s a hickey!!”

While Luke and Michael turned yet a deeper shade of red, the other boys started cheering and catcalling.

“So you’re finally together! Took you long enough!” Calum exclaimed.

Both Michael and Luke whipped their heads towards him.

“We’re not-“

“it’s not-“ they said at the same time.

Calum looked like he was regretting speaking up, while Harry, Louis and Ashton just looked extremely frustrated.

“Are you guys serious?” the drummer finally said. “So you just happened to give each other a hickey in a friendly way, then? God, you guys are really too fucking oblivious and dumb.”

Luke was freaking out, did this mean Michael liked him and had told the boys? Or were they just assuming, and now Michael would know how he felt?

Little did he know, Michael was having the exact same freak out, two steps away from him.

“I think you guys should have a talk.” Liam intervened calmly, always the voice of reason.

“Yes, that’s a god idea” Harry agreed.

Luke turned towards Michael, looking hesitant. The older boy was looking at him in the same way, and it calmed Luke’s nerves to see that, at least, Michael didn’t look like he was about to run away or yell at him.

“Lukey… Do you want to come with me to a more- private place to talk?”

Luke nodded and followed the boy he loved, his heart beating a mile a minute. This conversation could change his life completely, either for better or for worse.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy so... This is the end of my fic. It's kind of hard to let go, in a way, but everything has to end at some point, right? I hope I didn't make the ending too cheesy and that you'll be satisfied with it.

Luke followed Michael out the door and up the stairs, back to the room again. His heart was beating out his chest. He felt as if he was on the brink of something really important, something that would turn his life around in a definitive way. He recognized the feeling as the one you get before a huge milestone in your life, that moment you will look back on and think "at that moment, I knew it would happen, I could feel it", that moment you'll always remember. He just hoped it was the good kind, and not the bad.  
They entered the room they had left less than ten minutes ago - yet it seemed like ages ago - and the noise the door made as it closed reverberated in Luke's head in a distant echo. He looked up to find Michael sitting on the edge of the bed, as if ready to bolt. His hands were linked on his lap, but Luke could see them trembling. That's when it occurred to him that maybe he wasn't the one who was stressing the most about this situation, or the one who was the most affected by it. If he had always thought himself to be the most fragile and prone to losing himself to his emotions, he had changed a lot as the band had grown, and Michael, who had always hidden his feelings, was maybe more vulnerable than _he_ was.  


So he walked to the bed, sat next to his best friend, and took his trembling hands in-between his own. Michael lifted his head to look at him, and as their gazes met, a subtle shiver ran up Luke's spine. It was warm and electrifying, like stepping out into the warm summer air after having spent too long in a heavily air-conditioned room, or like feeling the first raindrops of a raging storm on your skin, as if the roaring skies were unloading all your angers in a show of light, noise and violence. Luke _loved_ Michael. He loved him so much it was almost scary.  
"Mike..."  
The other boy kept his gaze fixed on him, his eyes seemingly looking for something as they flitted all over Luke's features, from eye to eye, to the gentle curve of his upturned nose, to his rosy lips. Luke felt emboldened by the openness on the other boy's face, so he talked.  
"Mikey... I need you to know something."  
At those words, the older boy stopped his exploration of Luke's face and looked him straight in the eye, looking half expectant, half afraid. Luke's thumb caressed the soft skin of his hands as gently as he could.  


"Remember Year 10?" He smiled softly and Michael returned the same fond smile, full of memories of how young and stupid they were, of how much everything had changed.  
"Well, I never told you this but... I didn't even know why Dan and Hunter-" he stopped to laugh quietly, shaking his head, as just the mention of these two names was hilarious for no reason at all, maybe for all the connotations they used to hold and the insignificance they now meant. Michael laughed with him, not needing to ask what was funny, because he felt it too, that ridiculousness laced with nostalgia that some names of people of places could hold.  
"- I didn't even know why Dan and Hunter hated you so much in the first place, but I was so easily influenced at that time... So when they started criticizing and insulting you, I started doing it too, without any valid reasons. But I did dislike you for a reason, though..."  
"What reason?" Michael asked, eyes curious.  
"Um... I was jealous."  
"You were _jealous_?!!" The older boy asked, disbelieving.  
"Yes, you were just- so _cool_! The way you dressed, the way you talked, the way you moved... All of you. And, also... You were really hot."  


Michael stared at him, mouth agape, for so long Luke started to fear that maybe Michael had understood Luke liked him, and was going to push him away or shout at him. Thankfully, Michael ended up speaking.  
" _I_ thought you were hot! That's why I hated you so much! No one should be allowed to look as good as you did at 15, it does horrible things to other, regular, teenage boys. I hated my body and my face, and you were there, parading around with your beautiful eyes, adorable nose and perfect hair. I wanted to kill you. Or make out with you, which was another part of the problem." He seemed to realize what he'd said a second after it had come out of his mouth, and he started stuttering, cheeks as red as when he got sun burnt - which was virtually every summer, and which Luke found absolutely adorable. As he tried to take back what he had said, Luke put his hands on either of Michael's shoulders.  


"Mike"  
"- I didn't mean... I mean, I just-"  
"Mikey, listen to me"  
"- I was just trying to explain -"  
"Mikeyyyyy!"  
"-..." He sighed. "What?"  
"I wanted to make out with you too. A lot. Every time I went to your house for rehearsals, it was even worse, I was just trying not to throw myself at you the whole time."  
Michael stared at him as if daring him to be joking. Luke was very well determined to show him just how serious he was.  
"Michael... There's this thing that fascinates me about you and music." He breathed in, gathering the bravery he needed to share something so intimate and that he thought to sound ridiculous when said out loud. "Every time you play, you get so lost in it, your head's bent towards your guitar and you see no one else. And the moment when you come back, that's - that's the most beautiful part. Your eyes- you look so soft; and, at that point in time, I only knew you for the hard, badass older kid who never showed any emotions. So, that first day, when I saw you, so soft and gentle, I wanted to cuddle on your lap, to take the place of that guitar. I wanted to be the one you cradled in your arms, the one you looked down on with such sweetness. Years later, and it's still never ceased to amaze me, and to make me want you like crazy." Luke breathed in, having let out all his feelings in so little breath.  


Michael looked him in the eye, and there it was, that _look_ , the look the blond boy had always dreamed of having directed to him, but that he thought could only come from music for Michael. And then, Michael just _surged_.   
Suddenly, Luke's face was cradled in the older boy's soft but firm grip, and his mouth was pressed to the other's lips. Then, they were kissing wildly, like starved animals. Luke was surrounded by Michael, his scent, his taste, his touch. The whole universe had shrunk back to Michael, the center of his world, and everything was perfect.  
They sat there, devouring each other, _absorbing_ each other, hands caressing, grabbing skin. After ten minutes of intense making out, Michael pushed Luke away reluctantly, and had to fight Luke to speak, as the blond boy was still trying to get access to his mouth.  
"Luke... Lukemphh" he gave in and kissed him firmly again, before remembering himself and pushing him away.  
"Luke, I need to tell you this, please." He said, breathing heavily.  
"Okayyyy... What is it, babe?"  
Michael shivered at the pet name, even if it wasn't the first time Luke had called him that, but, this time, it meant something completely different.  
"I just want you to know... I'm in love with you. I'm _so_ in love with you. I don't know if you feel the same, but I need you to know, because I have for a while now, and it hurt to see you with anyone else."  
Luke immediately went to leave a few bruising kisses on Mike's lips before answering.  
"I love you too, ohmygod, I've been in love with you for years, _you're_ the reason I broke it off with Ally! She told me she knew, that she had seen the way I looked at you, the way I acted around you, and that's when I realized and admitted it to myself. I love you so much, Mike."  
Michael looked at him with love, relief, extreme happiness and fresh tears in his eyes. Luke was pretty sure his face mimicked that expression.  
  
***  
  
They kissed for another 10 minutes before forcing themselves downstairs again, knowing they would be late if they didn't. Although the boys had probably finished eating twenty minutes earlier, they were still there, pretending to have a conversation, but they whipped their heads at them as soon as they came in. They noticed their entwined hands and started cheering.  
"Finally!! FINALLY! Do you know how much pressure it was for me to be a good friend and not tell either of you what the other had confessed to me??" Calum exclaimed.  
"He'd told you?!" Michael and Luke asked at the same time, before looking at each other in a disgustingly fond way after realizing they had spoken at the exact same moment.  
While Niall cooed at them - Captain Niall was always happy to see more cute couples around him -, Zayn pretended to groan.  
"Ugh, another sickeningly adorable couple... As if Harry and Louis weren't enough!" He said, but his eyes and repressed smile betrayed his real thoughts.  
  
***  
  
Of course, they had to hide it, not only from the public but from their own managers, as long as they could, because they didn't want what had happened to Harry and Louis happening to them. Hiding it wasn't fun, but, whenever they were like this, surrounded by their friends - that had become family -, laughing, playing music and feeling warm and loved, nothing else mattered.  
They had told their families, and all the mums had been absolutely delighted, since apparently they had been waiting for it to happen for years. ("Were we the only oblivious ones??" Luke had wondered, looking at Michael in a worried way)  
Luke's brothers and dad had congratulated him and, when he had finally seen them in person, they had all patted him manly on the back before succumbing to the need to hug him tight, tears in their eyes. ("I'm so proud of you, Lukey, you're a man now")  
As for Aleisha, Luke had made sure to send her a lengthy letter - for those matters, letters seemed more appropriate than emails or facebook messages - in which he thanked her for being her first love, and also for helping him accept the fact that his feelings weren't anything to be ashamed of. As soon as she'd received it, she'd called him in tears, and congratulated him while trying to stop crying. ("Why are you crying, Ally?" " _Because I'm so happy for you_ ")  
  
***  
  
They even went on a few cute double-dates with Harry and Louis, and it was always a great time. It felt like learning from two big brothers who had been through so much and were still going strong.  
  
All in all, Luke could only thank Dan for starting it all. He thought back to Year 10 and Year 11, a soft smile on his face, and he promised himself that, someday, he would contact them all, especially Will. After all, these two years spent in their company had been the forging of what his life was now. And he couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... Here we go. Thoughts? Comments make my day, so don't hesitate to drop one! Same for kudos.  
> On another note, my friend Bertille (the one who basically made sure I kept this story going and gave me ideas) requested smut, and, since I've never written any before and didn't want to ruin my last chapter with terribly written porn, I decided I'd try my hand at it in a seperate one shot. So this verse isn't completely closed yet, expect a short tale of Muke's awkward first time ^^
> 
> Thanks to everyone who supported me throughout this journey, whether through comments, messages on tumblr, kudos or just by reading. Love y'all <3

**Author's Note:**

> Ummm so I don't know how to do this whole thing?! Hit me up on Tumblr if you'd like :) je-crois-en-larry.tumblr.com


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